Why?
It’s hard to believe it’s already been almost a month since Sr. Bethany Marie’s first Profession! Before it becomes “old news”, we wanted to share with you the lovely reflection that Sister wrote for her Profession program …
“Why?”
by Sr. Bethany Marie of the Glorious Wounds of Christ, CP
Sr. Bethany Marie and Sr. Mary Veronica present the gifts to Fr. Matthew Millay during the Offertory at the Profession Mass
One evening in March of 2021 I sat at the dinner table with my parents. My Dad had just finished telling me about how he and the staff he was working with would be at the Passionist Monastery on Friday for a retreat day. Unknown to him, since I wasn’t planning on telling him, I would also be at the monastery on Friday for a vocation retreat. “Really?” I responded in a somewhat nervous voice, “I will also be at the monastery on Friday.” “Oh for a silent retreat?” he asked. Here my voice got a bit high pitched as it does when I get nervous, “Of the sorts,” I said. There was a brief moment of silence as he pondered my words, “For a vocation retreat?” “Yes.” They both stopped, he cocked his head back with furrowed eyebrows as he always does when he is confused, “Why?” I paused a second, “I don’t know.”
My parents were always incredibly supportive of my discernment, which had been going on for many years at this point, but discerning with the cloistered monastery in our hometown, that I always claimed I would never enter, this was a complete surprise for them. It was for me too. (For the record most all of my family and friends and a majority of nuns in this monastery were also surprised.) So, the question was justified and became a frequent one. I truly didn’t know why I was going except that the Lord told me to. On that weekend retreat, however, I began to be able to answer the question because I experienced the love of Jesus in this community and in our liturgy. For the time being that was enough of an answer to the question ‘why?’ to keep me coming back, and as the last three years have come and gone my list of reasons why I have come, entered, and stayed has gotten much longer. But the essence of the answer has always remained the same -- love. It is love that has held me here for three years amidst ups and downs. It is for love that today I will kneel before God in front of my religious community, family, and friends, place my hands in my Superior’s and vow myself to Love himself, so that I may live a life of love with, in, and for him alone. Please pray that I am able to live my Passionist vocation to the fullest and become all that God has created me to be. My prayer for you this day is that you may experience in a deeper way the love of the Lord.
I love you all!
Sr. Bethany Marie
“You will say she is lost. That stricken by love she lost herself and was found.”
St. John of the Cross