You Are My God—Apart From You I Have No Good
by Sr. Paul Colette, CP
Passionist Nun of St. Gabriel Monastery, Clarkes Summit, PA
Her Divine Bridegroom recently came to take her to her eternal home in heaven with Him, and we share this gem with you, which she wrote out of the depths of her Passionist love for Him.
Jesu, I beheld You in the Garden
Weeping alone—so utterly apart,
And, ah, the sound, the sight of You, Beloved,
Fell like fire upon my stricken heart!
The broken syllables of sorrow told me
God only must be life and All to me,
And vanity of earth I put behind me—
And pledged to You a total Poverty.
Jesu, I beheld You in the Fortress,
Vision of violence seized me with a grip
Like steel, nor would it free me, O Beloved,
Vision of You beneath the swinging whip!
And Pain cried out with accents of mute Patience
That all my being, sense and soul, must be
For One alone—and so I made donation—
And sealed myself to You in Chastity.
Jesu, I beheld You in the Courtyard,
Sitting in silence, thorns upon Your brow;
And watched the laughing soldiers, O Beloved,
With mocking insult bend the knee and bow.
And sovereignty Divine, my soul discovered,
Is ruled by Love in all Its governing;
To be so ruled—each moment and forever,
Obedience I vowed to You, my King.
Jesu, I beheld You in the City
Bearing Your sorrow, stumbling in the street;
Driven without—unwanted, O Beloved,
Outcast of men, a worm beneath their feet.
And then I knew with certain recognition—
Not among men had You enrolled my name;
But I must follow You outside the city—
Vowing Enclosure, unto You I came.
Jesu, I beheld You on the Hillside,
How could I ever tell what I knew then?
How could I ever bear You, O Beloved,
Out from Your Hillside into the souls of men?
Then in the darkness from the Cross before me—
“Give me a life to sacrifice anew—
Give Me a victim for My Cross and Passion!
Then I will bring the world, my own, through you!”
Jesu, I have come into the Garden
Where You are lying silent and apart—
To place beside Your Sacrifice, Beloved,
The Promises of my believing heart.
And now, with life behind me, it is certain—
As certain as the dawn of Easter Day—
It had to be the sharing of Your Passion.
There never could have been another way.
"O Lord, how great are Thy works!
Thy thoughts are exceeding deep.
The senseless man shall not know,
Nor will the fool understand these things.
The just shall flourish like the palm-tree;
He shall grow up like the cedar of Lebanon.
They that are planted in the house of the Lord
Shall flourish in the courts of the house of our God.
They shall still increase in a fruitful old age
And shall be well treated,
That they may show that the Lord our God is righteous;
And there is no iniquity in Him." (Psalm 92;6-16)