J.M.J.
Meditations on the Diary
of St Paul of the Cross
by Msgr. Bernard Powers
Priest of the Owensboro, Ky
Diocese
Passionist Oblate
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Msgr. Bernard Powers |
Spiritual Diary of Paul of the Cross
To read the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to have the privilege of reading the love story of Paul’s encounter with his Crucified Spouse.
To ponder the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to soar toward the heights or to plunder the depth and be caught up in mystery, and know the Crucified Christ.
To pray the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to know the sublime prayer of contemplation or the simple prayer of a colloquy, or the infused prayer of suffering.
To reflect on the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to see into the depth of a soul searching for God. loving God, being touched by God and knowing transformed union.
To know the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to know the journey of the saints and the road to holiness and the pathway to transforming union with God.
To be acquainted with the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to drink of deep waters, feast at a royal banquet and to possess the science of the saints.
To be familiar with the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to walk in light, know peace giving principles and to have one’s spiritual life built on solid ground.
To open the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to enter his mystical experiences and be graced by sharing in his charism, and perhaps to be given the infused prayer of suffering.
To sit with the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to know the blessings of silence, to hear the whispering of the heart, and to learn the art of recollection.
To hold the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to have in one’s hands a guide that gives freedom to the heart and light guiding the way of the Cross.
To contemplate the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to have one’s heart quickly moved to affective prayer and know a union with the Suffering Spouse, to be held in the mystery of God.
To have the Diary of Paul of the Cross is to have a treasure of spirituality and teachings that enlighten the mind, truths that grace the heart and filling it with attentive love.
Msgr Bernard Powers
On Holy Saturday night
the celebrant placed nails in the Paschal Candle
and prayed:
By his holy
and glorious wounds
May Christ our Lord
guard us
and keep us. Amen
In his wounds there is power…. a power that is sacred.
From his wounds there is love…. a love that is divine.
On Easter Day
Jesus appeared to his disciples
and showed them his hands and his side.
In his hands there is power…. a power that gives spirit.
From his side there is love…. a love that forgives.
One week later Jesus appeared to Thomas:
Put your fingers here and see my hands;
and bring your hand and put it into my side…
We see in his hands the power…. a power that gives faith.
We touch in his side the love…… a love that transforms..
Power guards.
Love embraces.
Today we celebrate Holy Wounds;
We hear….. we see…. perhaps we touch….
but indeed we believe.
the blessings of power
and the fruits of love.
flow from the sacred wounds.
The human hand is one of the greatest
engineering feats in creation:
the bones, the muscles, the nerves.
the movement….
thus a human organ that can do great things and suffer intensely.
Jesus redeemed us by the intense sufferings
caused by the nails.... caused by the weight of his suspended body.
St Bonaventure says:
"For who can doubt that
as the hands and feet of the innocent Jesus were wounded
and pierced through,
a profuse flow of sacred blood poured forth…..
The pain suffered…. the blood shed
are signs of ardent love…..
As Jesus opened his hands so often in goodness
so his pierced hand gives intense love.
These pierced hands
once raised in blessings and in the giving of favors
now are suffering hands pouring forth redeeming love….
These pierced hands
once touching and giving sight….
now are suffering hands healing and forgiving.
+++ +++
The human foot also is a marvel of engineering:
full of bones…. muscles… nerves….
The feet …. pierced with nails….
would suffer excruciating pain.
Those human feet of Jesus that had taken him
to the desert…. to the mountain… to the well…
to the needy….now shed blood
precious in its redeeming power….
expressive in its ardent love.
Because of these Sacred Wounds
we can walk the road of Calvary
and know union with the Crucified.
We can scale the heights of holiness
and life in the realm of the Spirit.
We can journey into the depth of our being.
and adore the Divine Guest dwelling within.
+++
The side…..protecting the heart….
was pierced by the soldier.
Blood and water came forth.
The wound opened the side,
and the suffering heart
opened love….
giving mercy and compassion and forgiveness… life and love.
From the pierced side of the Crucified
came forth the Bride, the Church. t
the Mother of the living.
The New Adam knew One of his own.
From the pierced side
came forth the sacraments
channels of grace, life, spirit… love
In commerating the Sacred Wounds of the Crucified Christ
we are plunged into the Infinite Sea of suffering.
We know the graces of Holy Saturday
and are guarded and protected..
We see the wounds in the Risen Christ
we know He is the victor of the cross.
We seek to touch these sacred Wounds
we are blessed with faith.
With St Thomas
we celebrate these Sacred Wounds
and we cry out:
"My Lord, and My God.!"
Amen
Msgr B Powers
Paul of the Cross came to the Eucharist during his Forty Days Retreat
and his graces of the Eucharist are shared with us in his Diary.
These graces of Paul permeate your life
and fill your heart.
You have a greater appreciation of the Eucharist.
Pope John Paul II writes:
"The church draws her life from the Eucharist…..
Consequently the gaze of the Church is constantly turned
to her Lord present in the Sacrament of the Altar
in which she discovers the full manifestation of boundless love."
Encyclical on Eucharist # 1
Paul of the Cross did not know these words,
but he knew these truths.
He desires life and longed for love.
He found both life and love in the Eucharist.
These were the fruits of his Forty Days Retreat.
The retreat experience of Saint Paul of the Cross
was an experience of the mystery of the Eucharist.
He lived in a small room adjacent to the Sacistary
of the Church of Saint Charles and Saint Anne.
Paul spent hours before the Blessed Sacrament.
Pope John Paul II says:
"It is pleasant to spend time with Jesus,
to lie close to His breast like the beloved disciple
and to feel the infinite love present in his heart.
If in our time Christians must be distinguished
above all by the art of prayer, how can we not feel
a renewed need to spend time in spiritual converse,
in silent adoration, in heartfelt love before Christ
present in the most Holy Sacrament?"
EE 25
The inspiring example of Paul of the Cross
and the heartfelt urging of Pope John Paul II
compel us to come before the Blessed Sacrament…
to spend time with our "Sacramental Spouse"
in spiritual converse…… in silent adoration…. in heartfelt love.
Indeed, Paul made his retreat
immersed in the Eucharistic Mystery.
He came to know this mystery
as the sea of infinite love just
as he knew the Cross as the sea of infinite love.
The Eucharist and the Cross are one and the same.
"The Word of God is the living reality
Paul is to proclaim in his life and ministry,
and the Eucharist contains the power of Christ’s passion." note 66
Much of his time was spent in the Church
in participating in the Mass….
in serving Mass …. in receiving Holy Communion…
in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament….
in caring for the Church.
To read one day of Paul’s Diary
is to hear a call
to nourish our faith in the Eucharist….
to be more attentive to our Eucharistic Devotion…
to strive for greater love for Jesus in the Eucharist…
to celebrate more deeply the Paschal Mystery…
to live more fully the Eucharist.
"Paul’s love for the Eucharist is profound…..
Let yourself be penetrated by a loving sorrow for the insults
which He received in the most adorable Sacrament
and make reparation for them with humility, adoration, love,
praise and thanksgiving…. It is necessary to know that this flight
of the spirit must be made in the heart of the Sacramental Jesus
and here suffer the sorrows for the irreverences which He receives
from worse ecclesiastics, and religious men and women who respond
to so great a love by ingratitude and sacrilege and to make reparation
for so many insults………………………… Note 166
"The Second Vatican Council rightly proclaims
that the Eucharistic Sacrifice is the source
and the summit of the Christian life." Ency. on Eucharist Pope John Paul II # 1
Paul knew the truth of the Eucharist.
Pope John Paul proclaimed
and Pope Benedict says
that the Eucharist is to be
believed….. celebrated…. and lived….
We are so blessed to live
in the mystery of the Eucharist.
.Out of the experiences of Paul
come a rich and gracious love for the Eucharistic Lord
that took him deeply into the Paschal Mystery.
for the Eucharist is sacrifice…. sacrificial love….the gift of Jesus..
In this Forty Days retreat God gifted Paul
with infused graces beyond number.
Among them was the Holy Spirit
who moved him to write the Holy Rule.
The Rule was a fruit of the Eucharist.
Every person who reads and ponders
these teachings of Paul on the Eucharist
will surely share in the blessings given…
and be moved to greater faith.
They will come forth from this experience
filled with amazement.
Pope John Paul II says:
"The thought of this leads us
to profound amazement and gratitude." (EE 5)
One reads the Diary of Paul
and they know a greater hunger
for the "Food of the Angels"…
and longing to spend time in Eucharistic adoration.
Each person will come forth from this prayerful study
with a greater desire to love God…
with a burning quest for Jesus in the Eucharist…
and with a deeper awareness of being called into the Passion of Jesus.
They will know a personal call into the Crucified Christ, the Sacramental Spouse.
Those who ponder the Diary of Paul
will know a love for the Eucharist
leading into the Passion….,
and a love for the Passion leading them into the Eucharist.
They will know "love and sorrow…. sorrow and love."
As one attentively reads the Diary
the spirit of Paul will enrich our Eucharistic Celebration…
truths that he discovered will enkindle our faith….
and graces will inflame our hearts.
There will be the need to kneel in Adoration….
They will experience a love that will command silence…
and a silence that plunges the soul into "an infinite sea of love."
Yes, one must humbly take the Diary of Paul of the Cross
and immerse oneself in the mystery of the Eucharist.
On the final day of his retreat
Paul wrote:
"I was raised to a very high degree of recollection…..
I experienced very sensible affections of holy love and
I seemed to be melting away in God…..
I knew my soul was being united in a bond of love to the Most
Sacred Humanity. … The soul desires nothing other than his glory and his love,
and that He be feared and loved by all.
The soul who comes out of the Retreat or from the Eucharist
with greater love and greater faith
is indeed blessed.
Amen Msgr Bernard Powers
The footnotes in this Diary give deeper insight into Paul’s teachings.Note 66: "the Word of God is the living reality Paul is to proclaim
in his life and ministry,
and the Eucharist contains the power of Christ’s Passion."
Note 143 "The Eucharist Passion motif is manifested here in Paul’s desire to
die a martyr where the Blessed Sacrament is denied…..
Note 150 "The Eucharist, the perennial and living image of immolation
of the Cross evokes in Paul
the desire to respond as generously as possible.
Infused love is communicated to Pail with the vehemence
of an arrow…. :
Note 166
"Paul’s love for the Eucharist is profound….Let yourself be penetrated by
a loving sorrow for the insults which He received in the most adorable Sacrament, and make reparation for them with humility, adoration ,love, praise, and thanksgiving……… It is necessary to note that this flight of the spirit must be made in the Heart of the Sacramental Jesus and here suffer the sorrows for the irreverences which He receives from bad Christians and from worse ecclesiastics and religious men and women who respond to so great a love by ingratitude and sacrilege and to make reparation for so many insults. The loving soul should offer herself as a victim, totally reduced to ashes in the fire of holy love and to love Him and praise him and visit him often for those who maltreat Him especially visiting him at certain hours where there is no one to honor Him…."
Note 179
"The last words of the Diary
refer to the great grace received in the Eucharist.
The Eucharistic experiences of Paul during these forty days
are a precious confirmation of the wonderful mystical lights
emanating from the Blessed Sacrament.
The Eucharist is the cause of the Passion-centered experiences of Paul.
In the Eucharist Paul encounters the Mediator
Who leads him to the bosom of the Father."
Amen
Msgr Bernard Powers
In the mystery of the Eucharist
we have two great teachers: Paul of the Cross and Pope John Paul II.
"The church draws her life from the Eucharist…
Consequently the gaze of the Church is constantly turned
to her Lord present in the sacrament of the Altar
in which she discovers the full manifestation of boundless love."
Encyclical on Eucharist # 1 Pope John Paul II
Paul of the Cross did not know these words,
but he knew these truths.
He desired life and longed for love.
In the Eucharist he found both.
During his Forty Days Retreat
he was immersed in the mystery of the Eucharist….
participating in the Mass…. receiving holy Communion…
in adoration before the Blessed Sacrament… in prayer during the night..
To receive Holy Communion
was a privilege…. a joy… a blessing…. a time of prayer….
an encounter with God…. a union of God with the soul and the soul with God.
Daily reception of Holy Communion
was not the practice of his day,
thus for him it was special.
Paul knew what Pope John Paul II
would later write:
he "drew his life from the Eucharist
and discovered the full manifestation of boundless love" EE # 1
You, the Religious, know these truths.
For you, the Eucharist
is life…. love…. strength…. grace… fire…. Spouse.
For Paul to receive Holy Communion daily was
was to receive his Beloved Spouse…..to share in Angelic Food…
It was to converse with the Sacramental Spouse…
It was to share in the Paschal Mystery, the sufferings of the Crucified Christ..
The Eucharist and the Passion are one.
"Incorporation into Christ which is brought about in Baptism
is constantly renewed in the Eucharistic Sacrifice
especially by full sharing which takes place in Sacramental Communion."
EE # 1 Pope John Paul II
"We can say not only that each of us receive Christ,
but also that Christ receives each of us.
He enters into friendship . Indeed it is because of Him that we have life."
EE # 22y
Again Paul of the cross had not heard these words of Pope John Paul II
but he knew these truths.
He received Holy Communion daily
because he loved ….
because he was given infused knowledge and graces…
because he had both faith and love.
Paul of the Cross
is both humble and realistic.
His words are encouraging.:
"
I was unworthy."…. Yet he went to Holy Communion.We have the same experience and we cry out:
"Lord I am not worthy, say only the word and I shall be healed."
He was recollected….He was disturbed…."Yet he received the Eucharist.
He was tempted to leave prayer….. yet remained faithful.
"I was dry…… I was drawn up into God with a very deep delight
and a certain fervor of heart….."
D 4
In Eucharistic Devotion
God purified Paul:
God took away all consolations…. all sensible feelings… even the desires of his heart. God empties Paul’s heart….
and when God found Paul
humble…. submissive… faithful
He infused into Paul’s heart a great desire:
"
the desire only to be crucified with Jesus.: D 1May we never complain about troubles at Holy Communion…
dryness… emptiness…distractions…. afflictions….
but remain "lovingly attentive…."
and allow God to act in our soul.
Jesus is the Beloved Spouse…..
He can give as He chooses…..,
He can adorn as He wishes…..
He can purify…. refine… love as the Beloved Spouse.
In our reception of Holy Communion
we know similar sufferings and similar blessings.
We know recollection ….. and distractions.
We know unworthiness …..and we beg for healing….
We know dryness but we also know
‘that the soul is always in the arms of the Spouse…
God is holding us lovingly in his arms."……………………. D 18
We are afflicted but Paul tells us"
"that God enables us to understand
that they (afflictions ) purify the soul." D 1
From the teachings of Paul of the Cross
we can learn great truths about receiving Holy Communion"
When there is dryness
we can stay in faith
until the cup is offered.
Where there is hunger
we can stay in faith
until there is feasting.
When there is silence
we can stay in faith
until the Word is spoken
When there is darkness
we can stay in faith
until there is illumination.
When there is searching
we can stay in faith
until there is finding.
And the staying in faith
brings the soul to worship and adoration.
Saint Augustine says:
"No one eats the flesh without first adoring it….
We would sin were we not to adore it….."………….
Pope Benedict’s Writings p 62
Paul’s teaching on the Eucharist
nourishes our faith…. intensifies our desire….
excites in our hearts greater love.
His appreciation of the Eucharist in Holy Communion
plunges us into the teachings of Pope John Paul II:
"The Eucharist is a true banquet in which Christ
offers Himself as our nourishment…
Christ spoke: Truly, truly, I say to you,
unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man
and drink his blood, you can not have life in you." EE # 61
Saint Ephrim says:
"He called the bread his living body
and He filled it with himself
and his Spirit….He who eats with faith eats Fire and Spirit." EE 16
Surely our hearts are filled with Gratitude to Paul of the Cross.
His teachings
plunge us into the infinite sea of love…. the Eucharist….
and into the infinite sea of love…………the Passion.
They are One.
For us to read Paul’s Diary
is to nourish our faith….
to make us more attentive to our Eucharistic Lord…..
to challenge us to strive for greater love…..
to call us to celebrate more fully the Paschal Mystery…
and to live more fully the mystery of the Eucharist.
Yes:
"We the church draw our life from the Eucharist….
Consequently the gaze of the Church is constantly turned to
Lord, present in the sacrament of the Altar,
in which she discovers the full manifestation of his boundless love." EE # 1
Amen Msgr. Bernard Powers
Pope John Paul II called the whole world
and especially the Christian community to prayer,
and to greater prayer:
"What is needed is a Christian life distinguished
above all in the art of prayer. Inasmuch as contemporary culture
even amid so many indications to the contrary,
has witnessed the flowering of a new call to spirituality…
it is more urgent than ever that our Christian communities
should become genuine schools of prayer."
Apostolic Letter on Rosary # 5
Pope John Paul recommends the school of the Virgin Mary
The Diary of Paul of the Cross
is also a good school..
Here one can "learn anew the art of prayer."
The School of Paul’s
has five good qualities:
A desire to pray…. a desire that comes from the heart…burning desire of the soul
A place to pray….. before the Blessed Sacrament…. The Eucharistic Spouse
A time to pray……..a retreat…… or a chosen day…. or chosen hour….
A commitment to pray…….Making a choice… and act of the will… resolution..
A fidelity………… do it…. be faithful …… fulfill your promise.,, Be there.
For Paul of the Cross
prayer is act of encountering God,… of going to God…...
staying with God…. remaining with God… conversing with God…. Listening…
Even if nothing happens
keep your promise….. fulfill your commitment.
Stay in your prayer place….
Stay in your prayer time.
Paul said he was tempted to leave his time and his place
of prayer when he was severely tempted,
but he stayed at prayer… in prayer… …………………D 18
in his effort to prayer.
Paul teaches that prayer is not smooth sailing…..
It is sometimes….. many times…. hard…
Distractions can disturb….. temptations of all kinds can come…the devil can attack…Afflictions can trouble the body…. the mind…. even the spirit.
One can know difficulties and opposition
at different levels of the soul…..
in the intellect…. in the memory…. in the emotions…
even in one’s spirit….
In this situation Paul says:
"stay lovingly attentive to God."……………… D2
Stay with your desire…. with your will…………………. D 18
You wanted to pray…… stay attentive to this desire of the heart to pray.
Stay in your place of prayer and in your time of prayer.
Stay in the grace of prayer.
Paul says that God can and will give you peace
in the deepest part of your soul….. in your deep interior….
Stay with your desire to be with God.
St Paul speaks of various acts of prayer:
Receiving Holy Communion was prayer.
Paul felt unworthy….. distracted…. tempted…. dry.
But he went to Holy Communion.
Receiving the Eucharistic Lord is prayer.
It demands faith….. humility…. surrender…. openness to God….
One can always pray:
"Lord I am not worthy….. say but the word and I shall be healed."
This is a humble prayer…. this is a sublime prayer…
This is a prayer given to us by the Church….
even when one feels unworthy….distracted…. tempted…
even dry. It is faith that takes one to Holy Communion.
And one constantly calls out to the Eucharistic Lord:
"Lord, I am not worthy; say but the word
and I shall be healed." D 1………………Faith takes you there. Love keeps you there.
Prayer is a call to remain recollected.
Thus to reject distractions, disturbances…..
Prayer is a call to faith.
Thus to ignore images….. feelings… noise…. distractions….thoughts.
Be lovingly attentive….. aware of God…. or aware of where you are…
or aware of where you want to be..
When the Holy Spirit finds a soul
with these dispositions,
the Holy Spirit will raise the soul in prayer….
will lead the soul into the inner part of one’s being
to worship God in the soul.
One can just "Be with God."
In the work the Mysticism of Paul of the Cross
Bialas writes:
"Again and again, the founder emphasized in his letters
that the innermost part of a person , the center of his being.
the deepest level of the person is not accessible to any creature."
Bialas 177
Only God can take a person to this depth’
This is part of the fruit of recollection.
When God takes the person to this point, this interior,
one is in deep communion,
one is with God…….. one knows a contemplative moment.
Prayer is a faith reception of Holy Communion
where the soul knows the Eucharistic Lord
as the Beloved Spouse.
At this time prayer will be attentive love…
Or prayer may be simple words of love…. Paul calls colloquies…. D 36
Or there may not be any words at all
because love can stand silence….
At times love does not need words……….. D 5 Note 35
We are grateful to Paul of the Cross
who assures us that we do not need words at prayer….
that the heart can pray without words.
Pope John Paul II says:
"If in our time Christians must be distinguished
above all by the ‘art of prayer’
how can we not feel a renewed need to spend time
in spiritual converse,
in silent adoration,
in heartfelt love before Christ present in the
most holy sacrament?
EE # 25
Pope John Paul II
confirms the teachings of Paul of the Cross
when he speaks of silence…silence at prayer…. silence before the Eucharist…..
or when he speaks of "spiritual converse…"..
Prayer is an act of humility,
a docile presence to God,
a surrender a submission to the Holy Spirit…..
The giving of freedom to the Spirit
that allows the soul to be raised into the life of God.
"After holy communion I experienced a deep sweetness
and a spiritual uplift in God" D 5
Sometimes a soul is graced with the gift
to remain in God,
and they are caught up in love of a God
whom you can not see.
In his school of prayer
Paul speaks of
trials….. sufferings…. afflictions… disturbances….
and he tells us that these afflictions….trials
are "pledges of God’s great love." D5
That is wonderful information…..
That is great to know….
Of course we would like to tell God
to choose others ways of showing his love
other than afflictions…. temptations…. disturbances…
but God has good wisdom… and knows what He is doing….
He also knows how to teach us.
Prayer is being before the Eucharist
aware of sin …. both personal and communal……………D 3
and crying out for forgiveness and mercy.
Or being aware of being a sinner
and crying out:
"Oh, the Infinite Mercy of our Sovereign God" D 115
Prayer is being before the Blessed Sacrament
"in humility….. adoration…. love….. praise… thanksgiving….
making reparation….expressing sorrow….
the offering of oneself as a victim in atonement for sin……" N 166
At the Last Supper
Jesus said: "Remember me…."
Prayer is coming before the Blessed Sacrament and remembering:
remembering the Cross…. and longing to suffer….
remembering the Cross…. and desiring to be one with the Crucified Christ.
remembering the Cross…. and praying:
"I desire only to be crucified with Jesus." D 1
remembering the Cross …. and remaining in God
"with his sufferings infused into your soul." D 4
Prayer is being before the Blessed Sacrament
in sacrificial love…..
bonding with the Crucified…
being lifted into God.
being sacrificial in offering your body
" as a living sacrifice of praise…"
enduring all trials and staying present…………… D 15…. D 18
One who attends
the School of prayer of Paul of the cross
will come away
immersed in God..
Amen Msgr. Bernard Powers
Suffering: Interior afflictions of the spirit and heart mingled with hidden temptations
Response: See them as God purifying the soul….. Day 1
Suffering : Chastisements …. punishments on sinners…
Response: See them as the Most Holy Will of God to correct…. Day 3
+++
Suffering: Inability of the soul to speak at prayer…..
Heart felt like breaking….
Response: See crosses as a joy to the heart….
Remain in God…………………………..Day 4
+++
Suffering: Weather… cold… snow… noise …concern about future…
Response: See sufferings as a pledge of God’s love ………….Day 5
Suffering: aware of himself as sinner and wretched…
Response: call on the mercies of God……………………….. Day 5
++++
Suffering: distractions… distracted in soul… troubled in thoughts… temptations
intellect and memory disturbed…..
Response: Remain peaceful with God….. have the will desire to be fixed on God
Day 7
++++
Suffering: Humiliations…..
Response: Ask the help of Mary…. see them as from God…..Day 8
+++
Suffering: Distractions… Dry… arid… stump of a tree….
Response: Praise God in the situations…. Day 10
+++
Suffering: Psychological sufferings: anguish, afflictions, abyss of miseries…
miserable…. desolate….
Response: See them as coming from God…..
See them as God’s will……………….Day 11
+++
Suffering: Sorrow as seeing God offended…
seeing souls not benefiting from Passion
Response Willingness to suffer and die in atonement…Day 12
+++
Suffering seeing oneself as worse than a demon…
Response. Stay focused on God…. have confidence in God…. Day 13
+++
Suffering
Response I received a deep understanding of suffering
and I had an ardent desire for perfect union with him
that I actually longed to feel His sufferings and to be
on the Cross with Him…………………………………Day 14
Suffering: Bodily sufferings… weaknesses… disturbing thoughts…
moved to pray for sinners….could not bear to see Jesus offended
self knowledge caused suffering….
Remedy: He asked God for mercy……offered himself as servant of poor
Maintain confidence in Sacramental Spouse….
Offer praise to God…………………………………..Day 15
++++++
Suffering: Aware of the sufferings of Jesus….Soul languishes….
Suffering infused into the soul…..
Soul plunged into the holy sorrow of her beloved Spouse, Jesus
Remedy Remain in loving and sorrowful contemplation………….. Day 16
++++++++++++
Suffering: Troubled and bothered by thoughts….dry,,…
Remedy: Pray for the conversion of sinners……………. Day 17
++++
Suffering: Physical sufferings… hunger… excessive desires…. cold
wanted to run…. assaults from flesh and devil….
Suffering at prayer is a gift ( suffering prayer)
Suffer hidden temptations
Remedy: Make an effort to resist ….appeal to the mercy of God….
Stay faithful to commitment….to prayer time….
Sufferings at prayer purify and make ermine….
See sufferings as a means to union …
To suffer hidden temptations leads to holy love…….. D 18
+++++
Suffering: Lingering sufferings….
Remedy make acts of love to the Sacramental Jesus…………… Day 22
+++++
Suffering Dry… Distracted … restlessness…
Struggles between spirit and flesh… afflictions… inclination to leave prayer….. desire for food… interior afflictions…
Remedy: Not to ask Jesus for deliverance from these temptations
but to make me walk the road of suffering….
call upon the mercy of God for help….
Entrust self to kindness of Sovereign Good……………..23
Suffering : Dryness….sense of personal sin….
Remedy: Remembered the sad and sorrowful day of Good Friday…
Asked Jesus for greater sorrow………………………………D 28
+++\
Suffering: Afflicted by assaults and struggles…spirit and flesh in conflict…
Bodily appetites assertive… eating , resting… etc….
Devil appears…Blasphemies … interior voices…
Soul feels reduced to miseries… feeling of abandonment….
heart feels listless…. great desolation of soul….Temptations
against God… diabolical temptations….soul not aware of
God holding it in his arms…soul feels abandoned….
Remedy My spirit resisted… bring appetites under control of reason
Have desire to remain in God…
Go to Mary for help…. stay faithful to commitment….(hour)
Hidden desire to be immersed in suffering….Aware that God holds
soul in his arms… turn to the mercy of God…
DESIRE THESE EXPERIENCES IN ORDER TO SUFFER
See sufferings as a grace from God….Be indifferent to sufferings
and attentive to God…
See sufferings as God’s holy will….and want to be crucified
with Jesus………………..Day 29
+++
Suffering: Buried in desolation….disturbed exteriorly by thoughts caused by devil…
Devil attempts to disturb….phantasies.....soul struggles to stay attentive..
response: Remain united to God…stay in continuous contemplation…
The struggles purify the soul….ignore the pestering thoughts….
Ask God to deliver from them if it is his will….
Attentive to will of God……………………………..Day 31
+++
Suffering Aware of denial of Eucharist in places….
punishments…
Response Ready to die as martyr….punishments to correct and convert…Day 34
++++
Suffering Experienced the Sufferings of the Redeemer….
Response Appeal to God’s mercy………………………………Day 35
+++
Suffering Dry, feeling weary….Shared in suffering of the Flight into Egypt….
suffering from knowing ingratitude…self knowledge…
Response ….aware of God mercy…… D 36
+++
Suffering no feeling at holy Communion…aware of sin
Response desire to make atonement… to keep harm form Eucharist… D 37
+++
Suffering Distractions….aware of enemy, devil causing trials…
Response Saw all as God’s will…………………………………D 38
++++
Suffering Dry….distracted…thoughts….
Response Strive to be peaceful//////////…………………Day 39
++++
Suffering Unable to explain what is happening…
Response Aware of Blessed Sacrament…………..D 40
Saint Paul of the Cross made a Forty Days retreat.
His theme was the Holy Eucharist,
God’s greatest gift to the world.
It is a many-fold gift:
It is Love and Life….
It is Spirit and Fire….
It is Mercy and Goodness…
It is Sacrifice and Banquet…
It is Presence and Strength….
Today we join Paul of the Cross
what takes us into the mystery of the Eucharist
and comes forth…. for a moment or for a few days….
saying: "The Eucharist is Mercy, Infinite Mercy."
Day 34
Pope John Paul II confirms this
discovery and this proclamation of Paul of the Cross:
"I wish once more to recall this truth
and to join you, my dear brothers and sisters,
in adoration before the mystery,
a great mystery, a mystery of mercy.
What more could Jesus have done for us ?
Truly in the Eucharist
Jesus shows us a love which goes to the end,
a love which has no limits."
Mercy is a beautiful word,
a word of abundance, richness, overflowing…
a word expressive in its meaning
yet limited in its ability to open mystery.
Mercy is an attribute of God…..
a word that reveals that God is excessive in love…..
surprising in gifts…. amazing in actions….
generous beyond one’s expectations and
way beyond what one deserves…
Mercy is the act of doing a favor for some one
that one has no obligation whatsoever to do….
as action done freely, generously, graciously…
lovingly…boundless….
Mercy in God is a paternal love that only
an Eternal Father can express..
Mercy is
giving and forgiving….
purifying and cleansing….
adorning and gifting….
loving and enriching…
transforming and uniting.
Saint Paul of the Cross, in his Forty Days Retreat
knew the Mercy of the Eucharist.
We come now to share in this awesome experience,
this Eucharist as the Mystery of Mercy..
To ponder … to reflect… to believe
is to make ourselves ready for Mercy..
He pondered this mystery
and was both amazed and blessed…..
He reflected on the mystery
and it opened as streams from mountain valleys.
He believed the mystery
and came to experience its riches and its blessings.
The Mystery of the Eucharist as the Mystery of Mercy
purified him…. gifted him…transformed him… united him.
He came to know Jesus with an "attentive love."
You also know the Eucharist
as the Mystery of Mercy.
You come to celebrate
and your cry is: "Lord, have mercy."
You come to visit
and your prayer is: "Have mercy on me a sinner."
You come to praise
and your hymn is psalm 118:
"His mercy endures forever."
++ ++ ++
Paul had five days in his Retreat
that were ---- in a special way---day
filled with mercy… Days in which he was
caught up in Mercy. Aware of Mercy…
Imbued with mercy.
Day One was a hard day.
Day One was a glorious day.
Day One was filled with temptations,
afflictions, interior afflictions…
interior sufferings of the spirit, of the heart..
hidden temptations in the soul.
Paul knew these came from God.
Paul knew these purified the soul.
Paul knew
through the mercy of God.
"I realized that God enables me to understand
that they purify the soul.
Through the mercy of a good God,
I know that I do not desire to know anything else
nor to taste any consolation.
I desire only to be crucified with Jesus."
Day 1
Day One was a glorious day.
Paul’s heart was purified of his own desires
and the God of Mercy
infused into Paul’s heart a new desire:
"I desire only to be crucified with Jesus."
Day 1
Footnote 8 speaks of this infused desire.
"This expression is a strong affirmation of Paul’s
mystical experience of Christ’s passion. This experience
is a gift—a charism—which will always manifest itself
in Paul’s life, in his prayer, in his apostolate.
For Paul, it is a gift of God’s mercy, a divine attribute
which Paul frequently mentions.
Paul manifested a burning desire to unite his sufferings
to those of Christ.
Day One was a glorious day
The Day when mercy was fruitful
Day Five
Day five is a day of praise of Divine Mercy.
"I know that I tell my Beloved Jesus
that all creatures shall sing his mercies."
On this day Paul is aware of many blessings,
blessings that led to gratitude…. to praising God…
to singing the mercies of God.
There is sweetness and a delight
at Holy Communion.
There is a "lifting up into God".
There was in the heart of Paul
a desire for suffering that was a joy.
Saint Peter says:
"Rejoice in the measure
that you share Christ’s sufferings."
1 Peter 4:13
The joy in suffering that Paul speaks of
and the desire for suffering
are possible because Paul say suffering
as a pledge of God’s love.
"Your afflictions, dear God, are the pledge
of your love."
Footnote 34
"This variant of the strophe is repeated
a couple months afterwards in a letter to
Sister Costanza Pontas…… How beautiful
to suffer with Jesus…… Keep your heart good,
since the more you will suffer, the more you will
be likened to our dear Spouse, Jesus."
One this day
Paul is aware of God’s blessings.
There is a joy within.
The faculties are peaceful.
There is a silence
that is the silence of love.
"When the soul is inwardly recollected… in God or in his presence,
it occasionally becomes so secretly attentive to its beloved’s goodness
as to give the appearance of scarcely being attentive al all……
there is an enjoyment of the beloved’s presence….resting the mind
in the peace and quiet..... the will accepts the beloved’s presence….."
Paul is aware of so many blessings of this day
as well as an awareness of his sinfulness…
yet he feels the need to praise God and to glorify God.
He calls upon all creatures to give this praise.
"I know that I tell my beloved Jesus
that all creatures shall sing his mercies."
(Special gifts this day: Knowledge that afflictions are
a pledge of God’s love.
The awareness of the "loving silence of silence."
Day Fifteen
Paul became aware of God as "Infinite Mercy" D 15
There is an acknowledgement …
a response of praise…
an aspiration of the heart.
Out of no where comes a response:
"Infinite Mercy!"
That is the way of prayer sometimes.
We are at prayer and a name of God comes.
The coming is like a flash of lightening.
There may be times when we are in words
and a name comes….the thought: "Infinite Mercy."
We offer a prayer of praise
and move forward…
Paul did this. He writes the name: "Infinite Mercy"
and moves on. It is a brief moment of love.
"Oh: the Infinite Mercy of our Sovereign God." D 15
On this fifteenth day of retreat
Paul also was much aware of his sin and his sinfulness,
the need for evangelization, the need for conversion.
He had a great desire to establish a Congregation
to call sinners to conversion.
In his teachings he turns to the mercy of God.
"I also experienced a special love in asking God
through his mercy
to establish the Holy Congregation quickly
and to send people forth for his greater glory
and the profit of the neighbor."
Paul was realistic. He saw his own sin
and sinfulness. He saw himself the sinner
and called for mercy for himself.
"I tell Him that in giving me so many graces
and such innumerable favors, He only manifests
his infinite mercies
all the more because He gives them
to the greatest sinners."
Day Thirty Four
On day thirty four Paul writes:
"I had a special understanding of the
Infinite Mercy of God." D 34
Paul understood mercy as infinite love
punishing to lead to conversion…
sending punishments in time to spare eternal punishment.
Paul say chastisements as a manifestation of merciful love,
a punishment leading to conversion, atonement, justice. love.
In his mercy God punishes in time
to save souls from punishment for eternity.
Mercy punishes to correct, to convert
so that souls serve and glorify God.
Paul says:
"I also had a special understanding of the Infinite Mercy of God.
as our Sovereign Good enables me to perceive
how great is the Infinite Love with which He punished here on earth,
so that we might be spared an eternity of torments.
And because His Infinite Majesty knows the place
His Infinite Justice has prepared for the just
as well-deserved punishment of sin,
His Infinite Mercy
is moved by compassion to inflict
loving chastisements.
With these He urges His sinful creatures to correct themselves
so that they may avoid that eternal punishment."
Perhaps in our own lives
we should look at hardships…. difficulties…. adversities in nature…
sicknesses… ice storms… as signs of God’s chastising mercy.
Perhaps we should see them as punishments
for our sins and the sins of our nation and of the world.
God is merciful and loving.
He is a Loving Father who chastises
that we love more.
Day Thirty Six
Mercy is enrichment,….. Mercy adorns the soul.
Mercy gives gifts.
Paul speaks of God infusing knowledge into his soul…
infusing mysteries into his soul
"God infuses them ( mysteries) into the soul
by a work of his Infinite Charity and Mercy."
God infused into your soul
the very mystery of the Crucified Christ
with a grace that brought you to this Monastery.
As you read the Diary of Paul
you hear Paul speaking of the many gifts
and blessings that Jesus gave him:
The Charism….
Infused graces and blessing of many kind
Attentive love….
Afflictions that purified the heart…
a desire for martyrdom….
A love for the Virgin Mary
A consuming love for the Eucharist….
A love for suffering that was unitive…
A silence that espousal love could appreciate…
Paul looked at this gifts….
gifts he received in his Forty Days retreat
and he wrote:
"I know that I told my Divine Savior
that I could call myself nothing other
than a miracle of His Infinite Mercy."
When our self knowledge leads us
to be aware of all the gifts that God has given to us
we too have to join Paul and say:
" we are noting other
than a miracle of His Infinite Mercy.:
Amen Msgr. Bernard Powers
++++++
Day 1 Mercy is purification and gift
Day 4 Mercy is praise
Day 15 Mercy is conversion of sinners
Day 18 Mercy is the grace of fidelity
Day 34 Mercy is chastisement
Day 36 Mercy is adornment
Mercy Quotes - St. Paul of the Cross
"Through the mercy of our good God,
I know that I do not desire
to know anything else,
nor to taste any consolation.
I desire only
to be crucified with Jesus."
Day 1
"I know that
I tell my beloved Jesus that
all creatures shall sing his mercies."
Day 5
"Oh: the Infinite Mercy
of our Sovereign God."
Day 15
"I also experienced a special love
in asking God,
through his mercy,
to establish the Holy Congregation quickly and to send people
forth for His greater glory and
the profit of the neighbor.
Day 15
"I tell Him that in giving me
so many graces
and such innumerable favors,
He only manifests
His infinite mercies
all the more because He gives them
to the greatest sinners."
Day 15
For further development of "oh"
see: Living Flame of Love
page 580
"I also had a special understanding
of the Infinite Mercy of God,
as our Sovereign Good
enables me to perceive
how great is the Infinite Love
with which He punishes
here on earth,
so that we might be spared
an eternity of torments.
And because His infinite Majesty
knows the place which
His Infinity Justice
has prepared for the just
as well-deserved punishment of sin
His Infinite Mercy
is moved by compassion to inflict
loving chastisements.
With these he urges His sinful creatures
to correct themselves,
so that they may avoid that
eternal punishment….
Day 34
"The soul has a very deep
infused knowledge of all this---
sometimes of all at the same time,
sometimes of one mystery only.
But the soul understands this
in an instant
without bodily or imaginary forms.
God infuses them into the soul
by a work of
His Infinite Charity and Mercy."
Day 36
"I know that I told my Divine Savior
that I could call myself nothing other
than a miracle of His Infinite Mercy."
Day 36
This information comes form Day 29 of Paul’s Diary
Praenotes: Spiritual combat…. The soul and the devil
Sources: World….. flesh…. devil.
Field of combat: Soul and body
Spirit and flesh
Good and evil
Types of temptations:
Afflictions….. assaults…. struggles between spirit and flesh
Impatience…. Inclination to leave prayer time…
Inclination to do something physical or harmful
e.g. to eat… to hurt people…
Inclination to give in to feelings:
hungry and thus eat…
tired and thus to leave prayer…
spirit
can be restless….. yet it made effort to stay with God…
spirit is afflicted….. yet stayed with God… there is the desire to stay.
Flesh
did not want to stay at prayer… did not want to walk with God…
Flesh did not want to stay because it did not get what it wanted
(The flesh has appetities …. needs…. feelings.)
When the flesh did not get what it wanted
it got stirred up…. annoyed…. reacted…. acted up
Passions got stirred up…
sometimes big time…. various feelings came alive…
appetites came alive…
Caused blood pressure to rise… (heart palpitated…)
One is at a point of crisis…. breaking point… at the edge…
There is a feeling that one is about to give in….. or has to give in…
Now the devil appears…. the enemy….
This is sometimes when we are at the point of crisis .
He tempts to impatience.. (n 115)
restlessness…. agitation… un-peaceful… annoying situation…
… the situation pricks us.
The devil moves one toward
negative thoughts… negative criticism… negative attitudes towards others…… moves the soul toward acting un-Christ-like
Remedy:
Turn the soul to God in prayer…
Go to the Virgin Mary in prayer..…
Make a resolution that is possible… and immediate…
( Paul Stay for Mass)
Make a resolution to resist the temptation….
Choose an action in which the temptations is rejected…
Temptation was interior where he felt he
was being forced to leave,,,,
Paul resisted the temptation to leave and
another temptation came…
The temptation shifted for a temptation outside…
to a temptation within….
Thoughts against God…
Interior voices…
Loathsome, wicked things…
Blasphemies against God…
Go to Mary…
Diabolical locutions slay the heart and soul
To suffer matters little,
but the soul can not endure being tempted against God.
Yet Paul says that he knows the glory of God shines forth therein and the devil is confounded
because the soul resists…. and in the resistance...the Sovereign Good is pleased
and the devil is mocked and put to flight….
God holds the soul in his arms…but she is unaware of it…
Thus is seems she is abandoned… all of this happens in assaults…
Paul’s action when thus tempted:
I desire them in order to suffer…. ( God can permit for purification).
The soul desires to follow Jesus in his sufferings…. n123
Love seeks only the glory of God…
Paul retained peace of heart….
Greater grace…. n 126
Sufferings devoid of consolations purify the soul….as gold…
Transformation takes place without awareness…
The soul carries her cross with Jesus…. n 129
A great way to suffer fruitfully…
N.B.: The soul is not aware of suffering,
but remains attached to the Holy Will of God
of her Beloved Spouse…., Jesus n 131
wanting to be crucified with him….. n 132
Jesus did nothing but suffer in life….. n133
God gave infused knowledge of this suffering….. n134
In this temptation the soul feels abandoned…………….
and no longer feels the movement of the heart to God…
She no longer recalls anything spiritual….
She seems to be reduced to miseries…
God does not allow a soul to remain in this horrible temptation
"Near the cross of Jesus
there stood his mother." ………. John 19:25
Paul of the Cross seeks to know Christ Crucified….
and to be one with Him in His sufferings.
His Forty Days Retreat is a journey of the spirit into this mystery.
His Diary is an account of this sacred experience.
the account of a soul
searching and struggling…
encountering mystery and believing…
entering into the Eucharist and adoring…
turning to Mary and loving.
Mary was in the life, the prayer, the experience
of Paul as he made his Forty Day Retreat.
A soul hungry for God
is a soul that knows gratitude.
Thus at the beginning of his Retreat
Paul offers thanks to God and to Mary;
"Thanks be to God and to the ever Virgin Mary." p 1
The commentators point out that this is no surprise….
and at the same time it is most signifigant that Mary’s name
is at the beginning of his Retreat.
This has to be
because one immersed in the Passion of Jesus
must have a devotion to Mary
Paul’s early life was filled with devotion to Mary.
She appeared to him. She showed his the black habit…the sign.
She clothed him in the habit.
Mary had to be at the beginning of Paul’s Retreat.
Paul was honoring the Eucharist… Mary had to be there.
Paul was being immersed the Passion …. Mary had to be there.
Paul was at prayer…. Mary had to be there.
Thus Paul wrote: "Thanks be to God and to the ever Virgin Mary."
Mary is the model of suffering,
Paul will suffer.
Mary is the model of prayer,
Paul with pray.
Mary is the model of surrender,
Paul will surrender.
Mary is the model of the Eucharist,
Paul will be Eucharistic.
Mary is the model of contemplation,
Paul will be contemplative.
Yes, Mary has to be with Paul
at the beginning of his retreat…. during his retreat…
and at the end of his retreat.
Day 6 : Paul prays to the Virgin Mary
During this Retreat Paul was deeply concerned about the "inspiration"
to found his Congregation and the writing of the Rule.
Such a concern
plunged him into distractions…. hurled him into spiritual conflict….
immersed him into prayer… he cried out to heaven:
"I remember that I kept praying to the Blessed Virgin
in union with all the Angels and Saints, and especially
the Holy Founders. In an instant it seemed to me that I saw them
in spirit prostrate before the Most High." ……. D 6
All great issues demand prayer.
Founding a Congregation was a great issue.
Paul goes to the Virgin Mary and the Saints for help.
All great decisions take one to their deepest values
and make one reach out for greatest help.
Founding the Congregation was a great decision.
Paul goes to the Virgin Mary.
All great inspirations catch one up in their limitations
and helplessness. Paul goes to the Virgin Mary
and ask help.
The Virgin Mary is our intercessor in heaven,
constantly praying for us and for the church.
Pope John Paul II reminds us of this truth:
" To you, Virgin of the Visitation, do we entrust them (Consecrated Religious)
that they may go forth to meet human needs, to bring help but above all,
to bring Jesus. Teach them to proclaim the mighty things which the Lord
accomplishes in the world, that all peoples may extol the greatness of
his name." ………..# 112 The Consecrated Life
Just as in the life of Paul
nothing could be successful in our life
without the help of the Virgin Mary.
Day 8 Mary and the Grace of Humility
Mary is prominent on Day Eight, the day Paul deals with humility.
As Paul spends time before the Blessed Sacrament
and came to know his desire for humility.
"I desired to be the last of men, the scum of the earth…..
I understood that when one goes lower than hell,
beneath the feet of demons, then God raises the
soul to Paradise."…………………………………..D 8
Paul prayed for the degree of humility that Jesus wanted him to have:
"… I kept praying to my Jesus to grant me the
highest degree of humility"……………………………D 8
but he turned to the Blessed Mother and asked for this favor:
"I kept praying to the Blessed Mother with many tears to obtain this grace for me." D8
The grace that he asked the Blessed Mother to obtain for him was the degree of humility that Jesus desired to give to him.
The commentator points out Paul’s connection between Mary,
the handmaid of the Lord, and the virtue of humility………………Note 45
Bialas in his work "The Mysticism of the Passion in St .Paul of the Cross
speaks about Paul’s progression in thought regarding humility.
"Part of this progression of thought had to do with the fact
that to accept one’s creatureliness is humility; and it is
in terms of humility—rather than in terms of the nothing-all
antithesis – that Paul, more often than not,
expressed the awareness of his nothingness during his early period.
Because of their simplicity and originality, entries in Paul’s
spiritual Diary give us a good insight into how Paul looked upon himself
and in so doing , demonstrated his deep humility, a humility that was
neither artificial nor written in an awkward and fictional manner,
but had its source in the depths of his personality.
At the same time, we may be surprised and shocked when we read
his forceful and harsh self-denunciation. He referred to himself as
a ‘great sinner’ as ‘doing nothing good’ as ‘abyss of ingratitude."
----. Bialas page 163
Again I would take you back to Paul’s prayer
where he asks of Jesus the degree of humility that
Jesus wanted him to have…..
Also I would have you be aware of the presence of Mary
in the humble life of Paul of the Cross.
Day 29 : Temptations and Mary
Day twenty nine was a hard day for Paul…. a day of battle….
a day of conflict…. indeed a day of spiritual combat.
Day twenty nine was Gettysburg and Bunker Hill… Mid-way and Waterloo.
Day twenty nine was a day of temptations.
Mary was there, and Mary was there because Paul went to her.
It was a day of temptations of every kind and type:
Conflict between spirit and flesh…
Bodily temptations of weariness and hunger and cold…
appetites were demanding…..Passions were stirred up.
Add to all of this prayer was hard.
Blasphemous thoughts were hurled into the mind….
prayer was the site of the devil’ attack…
The soul felt abandoned….
The soul felt reduced to an abyss of miseries…
Paul’s response is most encouraging…. consoling… empowering …challenging
most helpful
He continues to place confidence in God.
He maintains his desire to suffer for Jesus and with Jesus.
He stills trust God….
He goes to Mary, the Blessed Mother.
"Then I prayed to God and to Mary to help me." D. 29 …
We do not know the temptations ahead,
neither their source not their intensity, but we are sure they will come.
In temptations, go to Mary….In spiritual combat, go to Mary.
In attacks of the devil, go to Mary.
Our method of handling them
is to rely on Jesus and to pray to Mary.
We are to have confidence in the crucified Lord
and maintain our trust in God even when we feel abandoned.
Likewise there is to be the readiness to suffer,
to suffer the temptations even as we fight them…
and to suffer them as a means of entering the sufferings of Jesus.
If we go to Jesus in prayer
and to the Virgin Mary in prayer
we have assurance of victory ..
Day 36 Mary and suffering
On day thirty six Paul spent time
with the Blessed Virgin Mary, a time of suffering,
a "mingling of sorrow and love."
Paul wrote:
"Then I recalled the Flight into Egypt with all its
lack of comfort and also the suffering and sorrow
of Mary and Joseph, but especially of the Blessed Virgin.
In my own poor soul, there was a mingling of sorrow
and love., with many tears and much delight."…………………D 36
Paul’s reflection on this mystery of the Flight into Egypt
opened to Paul a sharing in the sufferings of the Blessed Virgin Mary
What an awesome gift, this gift of sharing.
The sharing in the sufferings of the Blessed Virgin
was an experience that was unitive.
Paul’s journey through life was
a journey into the suffering of the Crucified Christ.
His union with the Virgin Mary helped to make this fruitful.
Bialas writes:
"The Passionist founder desired that the sorrows of the Mother of God
and those of Jesus’ passion be engraved upon the hearts
of all ‘so that the world be kindled by holy love’
Herein it is obvious that the founder’s real aim of contemplating
the sufferings Lord was not to sorrow and mourn
but to attain a deeper union of love with God."
Bialas p187
Paul’s words to Agnes Grazi are also his words to us today:
"Throw yourself into the arms of the Most Holy Mary,
Our Lady of Sorrows and run back to her
as the Mother of Mercy."
-----Bialas p 216
Day Forty: Mary’s Picture
Paul begins this Retreat with Mary
and he ends this Retreat with Mary.
At the beginning he offers thanks;
At the end he offers admiration.
His Journey through these forty days
had peak days with Mary.
His final day of Retreat finds him
humble before Mary:
" … I did not even dare to raise my eyes
to look at the picture of Mary.:…………………..D 40
Conclusion
We in our own journey through a retreat or through life
walk with Mary…..
cry out to Mary…
suffer with Mary…
pray with Mary….
dare not look at Mary,
yet hold her always before our eyes
and embrace her in our hearts.
We may not dare to look at the picture of Mary
but we have the love to run to her arms.
Amen Msgr. Bernard Powers
Aware of desires in the heart… the hunger, the longing…
What are your greatest desires?..... How do you deal with them?
Day 1… "I desire only to be crucified with Jesus." Note 8
Day 3…annoyed and empty… people making noise while at prayer…
"Still I do not recall that I desired relief from it…"
Day 5…(Physical sufferings)
" At that moment so great was my joy in and
desire for suffering that the cold, the snow and the ice
seemed delightful to me and I desired them with great favor, saying to my beloved Jesus: Your afflictions , dear God,, are the pledge of your love."
Day 8… (regarding humility)
"I desired to be the last of men, the scum of the earth
and I kept praying to the Blessed Virgin with many tears to obtain this
grace for me."
Day 11 "I feel a great desire for them ( great sufferings… anguish, afflictions)
Day 12 "Sorrow came over me at seeing Him offended and I told Him that
I desired to be torn to pieces for one soul"
Day 12 "The soul can no longer bear to remain in the body …she sees herself in the
Infinite Love of her God
She has a desire to be released from the body.
Day 14 "I had such an ardent desire for perfect union with Him
that I actually longed to feel His sufferings and to be on the Cross
with Him…."
Day 15 I prayed for this ( establishment of congregation)
with great desire and fervor
Day 18… "I felt the cold more than usual and my body desired relief;
and for that reason I wanted to run away from prayer."
Day 18 "When the hour came for me to leave , I was calm and peaceful,
desirous of suffering always more."
Day 23 "… afflicted by temptations to eat when I felt moved
by a particular desire for food…. and this also happened to me
during prayer. "
Day 23 "The continual desire for conversion of all sinners does not leave me."
Day 29 In times of great temptations and struggles
In the depth of one’s heart there is a certain hidden and almost
unfelt desire to be always immersed in suffering of one kind or
another…
Day 29 "… I beg my Crucified Jesus not to deliver me from it.
On the contrary I desire them in order to suffer
and I have a certain hidden fear that they will depart…. etc…
Day 29 "The foresaid fears arise from the soul’s desire
to follow Jesus in his sufferings.
Day 34 I desired to go ad die as a martyr where the most adorable mystery of the
Most Blessed Sacrament is denied."
Day 34 "I had a desire for the for the conversion of heretics, especially those
of England….
Day 37 " The desire to die as a martyr never leaves me especially for
the Blessed Sacrament , that is, in places where people do not believe."
Day 40 " She, , the soul, desires nothing other than His glory and His love
and that He be feared and loved by all.
Msgr Bernard Powers
Saint John in the Book of Revelations , Chapter 2:17 writes:
"To the victor I will give the hidden manna;
I will also give him a white stone upon which is inscribed
a new name, to be known only to him who receives it."
Day Thirty seven of Paul’s retreat
is a "white stone day" :
The name written is "Sacramental Spouse……. the Beloved Spouse."
P 37-d 37
Names indicate relationships.
The name for God is Sacramental Spouse, Beloved Spouse
Paul is aware of an espousal love relationship with God.
An espousal relationship with God is a relationship.
that is special and unique.
Saint John of the Cross teaches:
"In the espousal relationship there is only a mutual agreement
and a willingness between the two, and the bridegroom graciously
gives jewels and ornaments to his espoused….. Although sometimes
the bridegroom sometimes visits the bride in the espousal and
brings her presents, there is no union of persons nor does this fall
within the scope of the espousal."
The Living Flame of Love p 619
Love is special in an espousal relationship.
It is a love where gifts are given.
God, who is the Beloved Spouse, gives gifts,
showers blessings, expresses favors…. adorns the soul…
moves the loved one to respond in special love.
All these gifts of God
empower the soul to respond to God
in a love that is attentive, caring…
concerned… compassionate… trusting….
Each of you is a religious
enjoy an espousal relationship with God
for you are Brides of the Crucified Christ
who is the Crucified Spouse.
Paul speaks of a special gift he received.
"I had a special recollection in offering his Most Holy Life, Death,
and Passion p 37 d 37
Paul was gifted with a share in the Passion of Jesus
that was more than a participation in the Passion,
it was gift of the Passion.
Paul could offer to the Eternal Father
the Most Holy Life and Death and Passion of Jesus.
One who is graced with an espousal love are graces with inspirations.
They have a concern….. a readiness to heal hurts of the Beloved……
a desire to bring honor to the Beloved… to lead others to reverence,
devotion, homage and adoration.
"I had a particular inspiration to pray for the conversion
of England, especially since I wanted the standard of the faith to
be raised there so that the devotion, reverence, homage, love
and frequent adoration of the Most Blessed Sacrament …
would be increased … dp37-d 37
Paul says he was gifted with an "inspiration." ………………. p37-d37
an inspiration that came from the Sacramental Spouse.
This inspiration led Paul to pray
as the Spouse wanted him to pray.
Espousal love moves the loved one to respond lovingly
to the Beloved Spouse.
Do you see inspirations
as espousal gifts ?
Is your heart so attentive in espousal love
that it welcomes the breathing of the Spirit within ?
Espousal love calls forth heroic love,
total gift… the gift of all… unconditional giving…..
Paul speaks of the desire to die as a martyr.
"The desire to die as a martyr never leaves me,
especially for the Blessed Sacrament,
that is, in places where people do not believe." p 37---d 37
In espousal love one needs to be aware of the inspirations
that come for these inspirations are the breath of the Holy Spirit
breathing into the heart and the soul of the one loved.
They are also to be aware of the desires in the soul,
desires that flow from the heart… desires that move the soul
to a readiness and a willingness to please the Beloved Spouse…
desires that give freedom to a person to love.
In the preface of one of the Mass
we acknowledge that even the desire to praise God
is a gift from God.
Paul desires martyrdom.
What do you desire?
Paul was inspired to pray for heretics.
What are you inspirations ?
Espousal love can endure silence.
There are no need for consolations …no need for sensible manifestations.
Even when there are afflictions and disturbances
in the upper levels of the soul,
espousal love can know a peace in the deeper caverns of her being.
"It is pleasant to spend time with him, to lie close to his breast
like the beloved disciple and to feel the infinite love present in his heart.
If in our time Christians must be distinguished above all by the art of prayer,
how can we not feel a renewed need to spend time in spiritual converse,
in silent adoration, in heartfelt love before Christ present in the most
holy sacrament ?"
Encyclical on Eucharist John Paul II # 25
Again Pope John Paul II says:
"The presence of Jesus in the tabernacle must be a kind
of magnetic pole attracting an ever greater number of souls
enamoured of him and ready to wait patiently to hear his voice
and as it were, to sense the beating of his heart……
"…..liturgical law recalls the importance of moments of silence
before the celebration of Mass and in eucharistic adoration."
Mane Nobiscum Pope John Paul II # 18
As I mentioned, a soul in an espousal relationship
has a certain freedom to ask of the Beloved Spouse graces
and favors. When Paul reflected upon the irreverences and offenses
against the Most Blessed Sacrament he made this request:
"I ask Him to give me the grace
to shed tears of blood, which I desire very much." p37 d377
Footnote 166 in the Diary gives a wonderful treatment on
the need for atonement and reparation for sins against the
Blessed Sacrament especially sins committed by priests and religious
"It is necessary to note that this flight of the spirit must be made
in the Heart of the Sacramental Jesus
and here suffer the sorrows of the irreverences which He receives
from bad Christians and from worse ecclesiastics and
religious men and women who respond to so great a love
by ingratitude and sacrilege and to make reparation for so many insults.
The loving soul should offer herself as a victim ,totally reduced to ashes
in the fire of holy love and to love Him and praise Him and visit Him
often for those who maltreat Him."
Diary note 166
Pope John Paul II has this to say about shedding tears and
espousal love.
"We have before us the example of the saints
who in the Eucharist found nourishment on their journey
toward perfection. How many times did they
shed tears of profound emotion in the presence
of this great mystery or experience hours of inexpressible ‘spousal’
joy before the Sacrament of the Altar."
Mane Nobiscum #31
Paul is aware of irreverence and insults and he prays
for the blessing to take the Beloved Spouse to a sacred place
where it would be out of the dangers of offenses.
"Would that we could flee immediately from this church
and that angels would carry away the Most Blessed Sacrament
to a place where it would not be profaned by such irreverences
and grave offenses."
p 37 d 37
The espousal love expressed here
is a caring love…. a protective love… a healing love….
an atoning love…..
As Paul of the Cross had the grace
to make the prayer of atonement and reparation
for sins against the Blessed Sacrament,
so Pope John Paul II had this same espousal concern:
"Let us take time to kneel before Jesus present in the Eucharist
in order to make reparation by our faith and love
for the acts of carelessness and neglect and even the insults
which our Savior must endure in many parts of the world.
Let us deepen through adoration
our personal and communal contemplation drawing upon
aids to prayer inspired by the word of God and the experience
of so many mystics, old and new."
Mane Nobiscum Pope John Paul II #18
As religious, your espousal love is alive.
You have followed inspirations
and responded to the desires in your heart.
You have come away from the world to this Monastery,
to this Cloister….to this sacred place apart from the world.
Here you can be attentive to the Divine Spouse.
Here you can love without distractions of the world..
Here you can seek only the Beloved Spouse.
Here you can make reparation to the Beloved Spouse.
Saint Paul of the Cross asked for graces,
a request that flowed from his espousal love.
You, the Brides of the Crucified Spouse
also ask for the graces
to come to Calvary,
to kneel in espousal love beneath the Cross…
to express honor and adoration of the Crucified Spouse…
to know an espousal love that shares in sufferings of the Beloved Spouse…
Paul asked for the grace
to flee from the world
and to take the Sacramental Spouse to a place apart…
a place away from the profane….
You have that place apart from the world….
that sacred interior…. that holy chamber of your soul
where you can be in silence loving presence
of your beloved Spouse.
You have this sacred Chapel
where you can come and be lovingly present
with your Sacramental Spouse.
You have this Cloister… that place apart from the world
where you can be always with your Beloved Spouse.
Amen Msgr Bernard Powers
An Espousal relationship is awesome:
No service
is too exhausting….
No attentiveness
is adequate
No presence
complete fulfillment
No love
great enough
except the love of the Divine Spouse Himself
that is infused into the soul
No change sufficient
until the loved one is transformed… B 201
No union deep enough
until there is infused suffering…. B 203
No surrender deep enough
until one is completely immersed in the
sea of infinite suffering… B 204--- 208--- 203--- 165—196
No adornment is sufficiently beautiful
until the soul is adorned with the jewels
of the Passion of the Crucified Christ B 206
No way of life authentic enough
until one lives the way of the Cross B 209… n211
Espousal Love:
Intimate relationship… Heart to heart… …
Attentive love.
Adorning love.
Silent presence..
God gives the gifts…
See the readings for the feast of Saint Joseph… March 19
Espousal love… a love that can endure silence…
Be aware of who you are: Spouse of Christ….
Espousal love…. receiving from each other…
See espousal love flowing from vows…
Day 1 Certain interior sufferings in spirit and heart
mingle with hidden temptations… and affect the soul
very much.
They purify the soul
Day 2 Paul received an unusual interior grace:
"The pure attentiveness to God… was infused into his soul.
Day 3 Distress and melancholy came, … temptations… annoyances..
a heart buried without any feeling of prayer
yet content to have them for Paul was certain
that the Most Holy Will of God was being done.
Day 4 Holy Communion was received. I was drawn up into God
with a very deep delight and a certain fervor of heart
when affected physically….. there were colloquies.
God allowed Paul to see his great sins…. and his ingratitude.
Remain in God with sufferings infused into the Soul
One can be peaceful in spite of melancholy…
Sufferings are seen as crosses, a joy to have.
Day 5 Affections are a pledge of God’s love
Remain without in movement of the faculties and be silent
Day 6 Inspirations come at prayer…
Day 7 In distractions remain more or less peaceful with God
despite thoughts being disturbed.
In distractions, keep the soul fixed on God in peace…
In distractions, the soul is nourished secretly…
Distractions can come in the memory and the understanding.
Remain attentive to the Holy Will of God with the mouth.
Try to keep faculties united
Day 8 At prayer, Paul asked for humility…
Paul had a devotion to Mary…. Paul asked Jesus to teach him humility\
Day 10 Dry… arid at prayer but aware of movement of the heart
Praise God for all that happens at prayer.
Day 11 Embrace all that comes
for they are the will of God
and are the joy of Jesus.
Day 12 Recollected, but restless in thoughts.
God gave infused understanding of joy
in seeing God face to face..
Day 13 self-knowledge comes at prayer
Have holy Gospel passages in mind at prayer.
Day 14 Recollection…. peace…. consolation present…\
tender affections….
there is the freedom to ask favors of God
Intercede for sinners.
I received a deep infused understanding
of the sufferings of my Jesus.
There was an ardent desire for union with Him
and his sufferings.
There was dryness and a bothering with temptations
but peace
Day 15 Graced with tears
The soul and the body receive strength from Holy Communion
Pray for conversion of sinners…
Petition for forgiveness
Be a servant of Jesus…. Humble
There is great self-knowledge given at prayer
Confidence in Sacramental Spouse…
Soul is given graces and favors..
Day 16 Offer up sufferings to Jesus.
Pray for the needs of the church
Recollected when talking to Jesus with sorrow and love about
his sufferings……
a deep grace which the good God gives to me at the time
when talking about sufferings….
Soul remains, languishing
" with the sufferings of her Spouse infused into her"
Soul is plunged into the Heart and into the holy sorrow
of her Beloved Spouse, Jesus..
loving and sorrowful contemplation
Day 17 Recollected … Dry… bothered in thoughts…
Prayer for sinners.
Day 18 Tempted… distracted… but "forced himself to stay at prayer
Hungry for food…Wanted to run away from prayer…
His spirit by God’s grace resisted temptation to run..
God’s mercy helped him to remain…
Desired to suffer more
Aware that "Suffering prayer is a gift."
God will consume with love
One must be careful not to leave prayer
at so painful a time…. that would be tepidity…
The soul whom He wanted to draw into deepest union with Him
by means of holy prayer
must pass through this way of suffering during prayer
She must suffer….. without any consolation….
and she does not know where she is, but has
a very deep infused understanding…
Certain sufferings bring a hidden manna and this holy Manna
is the very delightful food of holy love, that is,
the soul in deepest repose
with her most gentle Spouse in prayer.
Day 22 Temptations… tenderness.. made acts of love to my
Sacramental Spouse…
Day 23 Dry… restless … struggle of body vs spirit…
afflicted with assaults…. impatience…
Inclination to leave prayer…. temptation to eat…
Asked Jesus to help him to stay
and to walk with Jesus the way of suffering.
Mercy of God….. Entrusted self to God.
Day 27 Contrition…
Day 28 dryness recollected regarding Jesus’ sufferings….
Remembrance of Passion
Day 29……………………..Special treatment on temptation…..
Day 31 Peace.. delight…tears…
Understanding of infinite Perfection… God revealed this
Worried about future.
"Soul must remain united to her Beloved"
by deep continuous contemplation of her Beloved..
This union is not diminished by trials..
The Saint in the arms of the Spouse.
It please God to see the soul struggling…
"Through suffering which she experiences in the struggle,
the soul is purified like a rock.,…"
Therefore, Always remain fixed on God without
taking notice of temptations…
Day 32 Remain respectfully in my God
Day 33…. Confession tenderness of contrition… Great self knowledge.
Day 34 Spiritual uplift…. desired to be martyr…Conversion of sinners..
Aware of mercy of God
Day 35 Consolation of spirit… experienced a spiritual repose mingled
with suffering and joy
Blending of love and sorrow……… a thirst for the holy love..
to drink of the Sacred heart…
Day 36 Desired Holy Communion
Recollection…. affection… colloquies..
Beloved Spouse…. self- knowledge, self is a miracle of divine mercy.
Scruples…. felt please in eating…
Sorrows of Mary… ………Jesus, Beloved Spouse
Day 37 GREAT DAY ON ESPOUSAL LOVE
Felt need to offer the Life Death and Passion
Intercessory prayer…
Devotion to Eucharist… Espousal love
Day 38…………..Desire that God’s will be done….
Day 39 interior peace… yet bothered with temptations.. affections….
DAY 40 SUMMARY OF THE RETREAT….
The human mind seeks to know God
and the human heart desires and longs to love God.
This seeking and longing
become more intense
as we live more deeply the spiritual life.
We go to Paul of the Cross
with our seeking and our longing.
We come away enriched.
We come away blessed but looking for more.
Paul helps us with special names of God,
names that flow out of his grace-filled experiences.
He also shares with us experiences that lead to certain names.
Names alert the mind.
Names affect the heart.
Names help us to come alive to God.
We know God more deeply as a Person.
Paul names God:
Beloved Good…. Beloved Spouse... Sacramental Spouse………..d 12.
Paul named God his "Beloved Good."
Paul is blessed abundantly…
Paul is given special gifts….
Paul is infused with knowledge…..
Paul is invited into suffering…
Paul names God "Beloved Good." because God is good to him.
Many times in his writings Paul speaks of martyrdom.
He meditates on death and dying….. He has a desire to die
and a longing for the eternal.
When God gave to Paul an
"infused understanding of the joy of seeing God face"
it was such a joy to Paul
that he addressed God as his "Beloved." ……….D12
God is known by name
in human experiences,
and, Paul the mystic,,
confirms the name.
We too reflect on dying and death….
….. the great mystery always before us.
….. the great and final act in mortal life.
To know the God we encounter
in our dying and in our death
is the "Beloved Good"
is to bring a joy into our heart….
a peace to our minds…
and a longing into our spirit.
It would be interesting to ask Sister Rita Marie
how she names God in the final hours of her
dying and her death.
If we reflect on dying and death
with Paul’s awareness of God as "Good"
we see the beauty he saw….
we share the hope he had…
we know the God he knew.
If we see God as Good,
we see dying and death as love….….
we see life after death as beauty….
we have a greater desire for full union with God.
"When God gives me the very deep understanding of the joy
one will experience when he will see Him face to face….. the soul
can no longer bear to remain in the body….. She has a desire to
be released from the body.".
Day 12
How do you see dying and death?
The name you give to God is a blessing here.
To name God as our "Beloved Good"
opens the soul
to wonderful meditations and graces.
If we give God another name,
the name of "Beloved"
nothing will keep us
from greater hope…. greater rejoicing….fuller gratitude.
We will indeed live as Eucharistic people,
If we see God as Beloved
our hearts can be open to Him in
trust…. humility… surrender.
……… in humility…. in attentive love….
in silent wonder.
Paul’s retreat was a Eucharistic Retreat.
He was before the Blessed Sacrament….
He received the Eucharist…
He shared in the Sacrifice of the Mass.
Paul found in the Eucharist an espousal love
and He named the Eucharistic Lord his " "Sacramental Spouse."……… D 15.
He found here an espousal love:
Espousal love is gift-giving love.
Espousal love is adorning love..
Espousal love is sacrificial love for both lovers.
Espousal love is shared love of each Lover.
Espousal love is both giving and receiving.
Espousal love moves hearts to unconditional giving.
This "Sacramental Spouse"
gives…a food that is life-giving… a food that fortifies the body
and nourished the soul…. a strength in temptation…
a fervor in loving….a food causing fire in the soul….
and a zeal for the conversion of sinners.
…a spirit that made him a servant to the poor.
The Sacramental Spouse gives gifts:
naked faith…. shared sufferings….
union with the Crucified…a humility that is self-emptying….
the prayer of suffering…a likeness to the Spouse.
the very gift of "infinite mercy."
When Paul speaks of the Sacramental Spouse
he prepares our heart and our soul
for the visitation….. for adoration… for feasting.,,
for spiritual communion… for recollection….
Since the Lord of the Eucharist
is named "Sacramental Spouse"
then prayer is communion with the Lover….
love is adoring attentiveness…
silence is sacred and bearable ….
time spent in his presence is sacrificial gift of self..
If the Eucharist is our Sacramental Spouse
we come
as lover,…. as spouse… alive in my love
our hearts enflamed…. desiring to love more.
The person who knows God as Sacramental Spouse,
has a heart that is filled with
a faith…. naked and pure….….
a hope that no thing can satisfy…..
and a love that is sacrificial to the degree of holocaust.
One finds herself the victim of love
Pope John Paul had to be aware of Jesus
as the Sacramental Spouse.
He saw the Jesus in the Eucharist
giving these gifts:
Love…. life… grace….
fire…. mercy…. faith….spirit…
light…. self…
Surely the Jesus who gives Himself
in the Eucharist is "Sacramental Spouse."
Pope John Paul II says:
"… the church has never yielded to the temptation
to trivialize this ‘intimacy’ with her spouse
by forgetting that his is also her Lord …" EE # 48
Today our hearts know a joy and a peace
because Paul of the Cross has named our God for us.
God is our Good God, our Beloved, and our Sacramental Spouse..
Amen Msgr. Bernard Powers…
Saint Paul the Apostle wrote:
"I wish to know Christ and the power flowing from his resurrection;
Likewise to know how to share in his sufferings by being formed into
the pattern of his death." Phil 3: 10
This spirit and desire of the Apostle Paul
permeated the heart and soul of Paul of the Cross.
The desire to share the sufferings of the Crucified Christ
was a consuming fire in Paul…. the grace in his life…
the goal of his heart…
On the first day of his Forty Day retreat
Paul wrote:
"I desire only to be crucified with Jesus." D 1
At the very beginning of his Retreat
Paul opens the very depth of his heart
and bears the burning desire of his soul.
"I desire only to be crucified with Jesus.".
Commentators on Paul’s desire tell us:
"This expression is a strong affirmation of Paul’s
mystical experience of Christ’s Passion.
That experience is a gift—a charism—
which will always manifest itself in Paul’s life,
in his prayer, and in his apostolate… It is a Gift
of God’s Mercy, a diving attribute."…………………. Note 8
As we ponder and pray this humble and sublime writing
of Paul , we are plunged into the Passion of Jesus, the Crucified.
We, as it were, "swim in the infinite sea of his love."
The plunge immerses us in the graces of Paul:
His desire flames our desire.
His abandonment strengthens our abandonment
His graces become our graces.
His union with the Crucified brings us to union.
"…contemplation of the passion, according to Paul of the Cross,
was the best way to attain greater union with God and the door
through which the soul enters and is led to intimate union with God."
Bialas p 212
We pray to gather choice fruit from Paul’s Retreat,
namely, that we too have only one desire:
the desire only to be crucified with Jesus.
Paul is a man with a mission…. a man on fire with love… love for Jesus.
Jesus was love…. and love was in the Cross…the Cross was suffering.
Paul knew that sufferings took him to Jesus.
He desired any or all suffering that would take him into the Crucified Jesus.
Paul’s teaches us in his Forty Day Retreat
that sufferings come in many ways….. sufferings are in every part of our being.
.Suffering come in many forms.
They will be sufferings of the body and of the soul.
Sufferings are spiritual and physical.
Sufferings are both sensible and mystical.
Sufferings are part of natural life and they are infused gifts. D.4
Paul was given a charism, infused suffering,
a participation in the cross of Jesus… the gift of suffering.
His Forty Days retreat reveal a living of this gift of infused suffering.
If we pray with the spirit of Paul
perhaps we will know a sharing in his charism…. in his infused sufferings.
What an awesome way of life is set before you
as Passionist… as Brides of the Crucified Christ.
You are offered a share in the Christ.
On the first day of his retreat
Paul speaks of suffering in a rather startling way.
"I was interiorly afflicted…
It is a certain interior suffering in spirit and heart
mingled with hidden temptations which are
hardly recognized as such.
They affect the soul very much."
Paul takes us to interior suffering.
In doing so he takes us into the depth of our own being,
into the spirit, the heart , the soul.
We suffer in these faculties. We suffer in this dominion of our being;
that center where we are most alive.
In his gentleness Paul can say: "Let nothing surprise you."
Bialas in The Mysticism of the Passion in St. Paul of the Cross writes:
"When, as the founder explained in a letter written in 1757
a person remains in the holy desert of one’s interior
contemplating the passion of Jesus
then God will give him a share in his Son’s passion, that is,
a share in love and sorrow." ……….Bialas p 204
My Sisters, as you reflect on these words of Paul
the Holy Spirit will lead you into the interior,
into the deepest core of your being, into the center.
There you will know the mystery of the Cross
and will encounter the Suffering Christ.
There you will suffer.
If one is to share deeply in the Passion of Christ,
one will suffer interiorly, and to a depth
that only God can take you.
Sufferings take the form of afflictions,
hidden temptation… distraction…dryness….
sufferings of the spirit, … afflictions in the heart.
Sometimes you will suffer but not know
the source, nor the cause nor even the locality,
but you will know you suffer...
Paul says:
"One does not know whether one is here or there…
the more so because there is no sensible sign of prayer
during this time." D 1
Paul’s writings are filled with hope:
Sufferings and afflictions purify the soul…
Sufferings bring the fruit of the Cross to the soul.
Suffering offer a sharing in the suffering of Jesus.
Sufferings offer the Passion, and the Passion offers union with Jesus.
"The Passion of Jesus is the ‘greatest and most stupendous
work of divine love. Paul referred to it as an ‘infinite sea of love’" Bialas p 201
"To bear the Cross means, above all else to have the opportunity
of bearing it "with Christ," thus sharing in his crucifixion." Bialas 140+
Paul is so positive, so alive to the Holy Spirit,
so in love with the Crucified Christ.
He speaks of suffering and afflictions and temptations
that strike at the very center of his being
and yet at the same moment he reaches up to God praying:
"I desire only to be crucified with Jesus." D 1
Afflictions are happenings that cause pain, distress,
hurting, sufferings….
Afflictions are disturbances that hurt.
As long as they are present , there is a suffering.
Paul asked for sufferings.
Paul asked not to be spared of sufferings…
Paul begged God not to deprive him of sufferings.
For Paul, sufferings were a means
of sharing in the Passion of Jesus,
and to share in the Passion of Jesus was to share in His love.
To share in the Passion of Jesus was to know union with Jesus.
Sufferings were a means of being crucified with Jesus,
dying with Jesus and rising with Jesus.
To be crucified with Jesus
demanded love, faith, courage, surrender,
abandonment…. desire…. grace.
God gave these dispositions to Paul;
These disposition enabled Paul to accept the gift of suffering
which God gave him…. and empowered him to live the gift of suffering.
Paul speaks of interior sufferings.
This could be in the inner faculty of the memory.
To remember an unpleasant event is to cause suffering..
Sufferings can be in the intellects..
One can be in conflict pondering an issue…
or in the process of making a decision…
There can be sufferings in the intellect
in striving to know…. to understand..
or the pondering of a truth that leave
something that is not clear…that leaves in the dark.
For one not to know is a suffering.
To know and want to know more is a suffering
Faith is a suffering. Faith deals with the unknown,
that which is beyond images… Faith is darkness
and darkness is a suffering….
Doubts that hang around fading in and out
of one’s awareness cause sufferings…
These are interior.
These are of the intellect
Sufferings can be in the will,
We can want something that we should not have…
We can desire something too costly,
beyond our reach…. want something
that is selfish…
Even our desire for God is suffering.
Our desire is beyond our ability to fulfill.
God alone can meet this need or desire..
God alone can enable us to fulfill this desire.
Thus there is suffering.
Some sufferings are caused by feeling.
Situations that are uncomfortable cause sufferings:
We can feel cold… hungry… abandoned….
isolated… alone…. rejected…
All these sufferings offer
the opportunity to share in the sufferings of Jesus.
Sufferings offer the opportunity
to fulfill our desire to be crucified with Jesus.
There can be sufferings in the heart.
We want to love, but we can never satisfy this desire.
The very act of loving creates within us
the desire to love more…. and that hurts… that is suffering.
Love hurts…. Love suffers and the soul must be ready
to endure the suffering of love.
Paul says:
"I realize that God enables me to understand
that they ( afflictions, temptations, sufferings )
purify the soul" D 1
There are sufferings in the spirit,
in the heart and even in the soul.
How often have we come to prayer…
a burning desire in the heart…
we try to find words to express the desires,
but none are sufficient…. none can be found…
The desire of love seems bound,
the captive of our weaknesses.
You we inflamed with the desire to pray,
and nothing came….
There was emptiness… dryness…
One wanted to prayer yet felt they could not.
Paul was aware of this.
He uses the word dry, dryness as if
there were no other word in the language.
In all of this suffering of heart
suffering in desire,
one is in union with the Crucified Christ,
one is suffering with Christ.
Paul speaks of having "no feeling in prayer and was disturbed." D 3
To have no feeling at prayer
is to suffer on one level of our being.
Although we do not wish to stay on the level of feelings
while at prayer
does not mean freedom from suffering.
To leave the level of feelings is suffering…
to control feelings is a suffering….
to deny what the feels want is a suffering…
To master feelings
is to suffer the a cross,
and to suffer a cross is to share in the sufferings of Jesus.
"I desire only to be crucified with Jesus"
Sufferings can be in the body….
the cold… the hunger… the sickness…. various physical conditions.
The sufferings of Sister Mary Bernadette… Sister Rita Marie….
your own personal physical sufferings in community…
Paul speaks of infused suffering….
This was a special gift of God..
."I feel that sometimes my soul can no longer speak
and it remains thus in God with his sufferings infused
into the soul." D 4
A footnote (27) on this reference states:
"The infused sufferings which cause love and sorrow
are the formal means which realize the mystical experience
of Paul. In other words, the infused sufferings are the connatural
touch witch renders God present to and experienced by the soul.
They are the light under which and through which Paul touched
the Divinity of the Crucified…… Paul discovered and experienced
in the Mass the substance of his devotion to the Passion.
:….when Paul communes with the interior dispositions of the
Suffering Christ, he then attains the contemplative act,
penetrates into God and feel the sufferings of Jesus
infused into his soul. This causes in him an experience of
the blending of love and sorrow.
Paul’s devotion to the Passion is a true interior devotion.
He makes his own the interior sentiments and dispositions of
his Beloved.
"Paul sees in the Suffering Christ not only a moral exemplar to imitate
but a deifying power to attain." Note 27
I would like to conclude
by giving a starting point
for future reflection and mediation and
contemplation on the suffering and the Passion
by quoting Bialas:
."Infused suffering ,
practice of the virtues of the crucified Lord,
and a basic readiness for suffering
may be designated as the interior portion
of participating in the passion of Jesus,
or in other words,
the preconditions for recognizing and accepting
the cross of Christ
in the concrete suffering one must bear." Bialas p 23
Amen Msgr. Bernard Powers
At the beginning of your retreat your desire was to be crucified with Jesus.
At the end of your retreat your desire is to be crucified with Jesus.
Finis
