St. Paul of the Cross, the founder of the Passionist Priests and the Passionist Nuns, is not so well known these days. He is often confused with the Carmelite saint and doctor of the church, John of the Cross.
The Spiritual Diary of St. Paul of the Cross
St. Paul
of the Cross, the founder of the Passionist Priests and the
Passionist Nuns, is not so well known these days. He is often confused with the
Carmelite saint and doctor of the church, John of the Cross.
The Spiritual Diary
of
The Spiritual Diary of St. Paul of the Cross is a wonderful and practical source of learning how to do this in one’s prayer life. The diary is relatively short…no more than about 15 pages typed, but absolutely packed with depth.
The Difference Between a Diary and a Journal
Just for clarification, the
Spiritual Diary is written in a style true to “diary-form.” It is not the same
style as one might find in a spiritual “journal.” “What’s the difference?” you
may ask. The difference is in
St. Paul’s Style of Writing
in the Diary
In keeping with the
practical nature of a true “diary”, the style with which St. Paul of the Cross
writes is simple, straight-forward (or as straight-forward as one can be when
describing very mysterious spiritual realities), and descriptive for the sake of
pin-pointing the essence of his experiences at prayer.
How to Read the Diary
So how should a person read this great and somewhat secret spiritual work of
writing? In the words of Stanislaus Breton, C.P., Ph. D.,
“the work must be read in the same
spirit in which it was conceived”—namely, through a certain humble honesty and
simplicity of spirit, contrary to what the extraordinary mysticism of
Eucharistic Devotion and the Graces of the
40-Day Retreat of
Sacramental Mysticism
What does it mean to be a mystic? In the dictionary, the word ‘mystical’ is defined as ‘hidden and mysterious.’ When we first hear the word “mystical” we might tend to think of floating in the air and seeing visions (experiences foreign to most of us!) Those experiences would, of course, fall under the category of mysticism. However, we are all called to share in the mystical life of grace just as we are all called to share in the life of Christ. And the life and grace of Christ are received through the sacraments of the Church.
Our spiritual life depends on and is nourished by the sacraments.
The Eucharist is the primary source of grace for
The Eucharist and Prayer
Throughout the Diary, Paul emphasizes his relationship with the Lord at Holy
Communion and his relationship with the Lord at daily prayer.
From the way Paul treats the two subjects in the Diary, he clearly understands
that
an intimate relationship exists between Holy Communion and prayer.
In a mysterious way, the prayer of
The Eucharist and the Paschal Mystery
The Eucharist is
the living memorial of the Passion of Jesus,
through which the Person, love and sacrifice of Jesus is always present “until
the end of time.” It
is very appropriate that St. Paul’s deep communion with the Eucharistic Lord
leads him to share in the spirit and life—indeed, the very heart—of the
suffering and self-sacrificing Jesus.
The same love that filled Jesus as He offered His Passion for love of us also
filled the hart of
The Eucharist and the Passionist Charism
The Spirit and Life of Christ (the Holy Spirit), which animated and was poured forth from Jesus on the cross, is the source of the Passionist Charism. The Passionist Congregation itself is a “new creation” springing from the suffering and pierced Heart of Christ. From the water of the Sacraments of Baptism and Reconciliation and the Blood of the Sacrament of the Eucharist, there flows into the hearts of those called to the Passionist Congregation the Holy Trinity’s gift of the Passionist Charism.
It is in union with the Eucharistic Christ that Passionists live out their lives in the Church. “Eucharist” means thanksgiving. Passionists are to be “living sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving,” continually offering themselves, through, with and in Christ in the Holy Eucharist. They participate in the sacrificial offering of Christ for the sake of the praise and glory of the Father and that souls may receive His merciful love. It is Christ who offers Himself in them through the bond of the Holy Spirit, even as He also presents them as offerings of merciful love through, with and in Himself.
An excerpt from the Spiritual Diary of
“I had special recollection in offering his Most Holy Life, Death, and
Passion, as also in my petitions, especially for heretics…because I want the
standard of the holy faith to be erected so that there will be an increase of
devotion and reverence, homage and love, with frequent acts of adoration for the
Blessed Sacrament, the ineffable mystery of God’s most holy love, and so that
his Holy Name may be glorified in a very special way.”
Prayer and Discernment of Spirits in the Spiritual Diary of Paul of the Cross
The Diary of St. Paul has great value for the intimate and honest attention given to his actual life of prayer. This “actual” life of prayer provides us with a broader spectrum of negative, positive, and even apathetic experiences at prayer, giving us true-to-life insight into the prayer life of a great saint and mystic. How much we would have missed in terms of spiritual instruction had he only highlighted certain ideal experiences at prayer! He writes the reality of what his prayer is.
Paul very clearly describes and records the details of very involved (and often intense) experiences at prayer, which unfold from His Eucharistic relationship with the Lord. He records everything from mystical graces to feeling cold or dry “like a stump.” He also writes about the tactics used by the devil to wage war on one who earnestly, fervently and consistently prays.
He writes about the
different forces at work in his prayer:
1)
God and grace
* (Nov
26th)
I feel my spirit can say no
more and simply remains in God with his sufferings infused in
my soul.
* (Dec 4th)
My dear God gave me infused
knowledge of the joy the soul will have when we see him face
to face, when in will be united with him in holy love
* (Dec 6th)
These wonders cannot be
explained with bodily comparisons because God makes them
understood deep down in the soul with movements so
spiritual that they
cannot be explained; yet they are grasped in an instant.
* (Dec 8th)
My soul can say nothing more
and fells itself melting away. I remain thus, languishing
with great sweetness, mingled with tears, with the sufferings of my
Spouse infused into my soul. Or to express it more clearly, the soul is
immersed in the heart and in the sorrows of its beloved Spouse Jesus.
Sometimes it understands them all and remains thus in God
in this loving and
sorrowful contemplation. It is very difficult to explain
and always seems to
be something new.
2)
Self and nature
* (Nov
25th)
Seeing people, hearing them
pass by, and the sound of the bells irritated me.
Distracting thoughts
*(Nov 29th)
I would like to explain what happens in my distractions. When I am distracted, my soul
remains at peace with God, neither more nor less, no matter how disturbing
the thoughts may be that molest me. At night I say to my mind: “Go
wherever you wish—here, there, everywhere—you will always go with God.”
What happens in these distractions, not counting those that are
clearly temptations, I really cannot say, except that they are of indifferent
things, and sometimes they turn out to be thoughts of
spiritual things.
However,… I know my soul remains always rooted in God
and in
his peace. But this is hidden and not evident to the senses, though the will
is aware of this. It is the will which is the mouth and entry for the holy food of divine
love. Even though it is fed silently, because of the hindrance from the
memory and the intellect, which are lost in distractions, the
will, nonetheless, remains attentive to its feeding on the love of God.”
Physical discomfort
*(Dec 10th)
I was tempted to gluttony
and seized with hunger. I felt the cold more than usual and
my body wanted some relief, and on that account I wanted to flee from
prayer. By the grace of God, my spirit held out, but the
violence of the assaults kept coming from both my flesh and the devil.
Natural
desires opposed to spiritual desires
*(Dec 15th
-18th)
I was dry, distracted with
uneasiness and conflicts between the spirit and the flesh…
The spirit, by the grace of God, wishes to subdue the flesh and make
it stay submissive and obedient by uniting it to the understanding. The
flesh, on the other hand, finds this hard to bear. Therefore, when it
feels hungry, it wants to eat; when it is weary from work or kneeling for
a long time at prayer, it wants to rest; when it is cold, it wants to be
warmed; etc. On this account, I say, I have been very violently troubled by
most of these things…
Note:
3) The devil and temptation
Desolation, impatience and anger
*(Dec
21st
)The
Spirit kept resisting and wanted to remain with
God in prayer,
although
felt desolate and afflicted. The flesh, on the other hand, did not want to.
On this account the passions were stirred up with intensity that my heart
pounded and made me tremble from head to foot until my bones ached. I
came to a point where I felt I could bear no more. Then the enemy
appeared with temptations to impatience. He roused me to anger
against the priests who were coming to say mass,
suggesting to me that
they came too late. It seemed to me that I was being forced to make
insulting remarks to them. At this point I called upon God and Mary to help me,
and I kept saying to myself that I would stay there
until all the Masses
were said. This was to resist the temptation, for it seemed to me that I
was being forced to leave.
Diabolic locutions
*When
that was over, I felt assailed by temptations to the most frightful blasphemies against
God. I seemed to hear myself interiorly repeating the
most outrageous and
appalling things; whereupon I called upon Mary to
help me.
The devil is
confounded because in this resistance put up by the soul and
in these
sufferings…the Sovereign Good is pleased, and the devil is mocked and put to flight.
*(
Dec 23rd
)
I was buried in desolation
and exteriorly disturbed about thoughts of the future,
aroused by the devil. By the word “exteriorly” I meant that the thoughts come in
this way.
*(Dec
30th)
I was plagued with
distractions, especially by thoughts of things in the future. The enemy
represented to me that great tribulations would befall me, especially
with regard to my family. I was also very downcast.
In all things may the
Will of our God be done. Amen.
Because of his deep awareness of these different forces at work in his prayer,
the Spiritual Diary of St. Paul of the Cross is an effective
instruction manual on how to conduct oneself at prayer…
a)
when prayer is mysterious
and difficult to understand in human terms
b)
when prayer is dry and an
experience of spiritual poverty, and
c)
when prayer is an experience
of spiritual warfare.
Excerpts from Nov 29th, Dec 10th and Dec 21st in the Diary:
“…in
line with the understanding
that God gives me,
and as I have come to realize, I know my soul remains always rooted in God and
in his peace. But this is hidden and not evident to the senses, though the will
is aware of this. It is the will which is the mouth and entry for the food of
divine love.”
"Care must be taken
not to withdraw from prayer at such a trying time because suffering would not be
diminished thereby. On the contrary, without gain to itself the soul would be
the more afflicted because it would see itself slipping into tepidity. However,
I know that God makes me understand that the soul, which God wishes to draw to a
high degree of union with himselfby means of prayer, must travel along this road
of suffering in prayer—of suffering, I repeat, with out any sensible
consolations…to him who overcomes will be given the hidden manna, which is what
Sacred Scripture says. I understand “the hidden manna” to be the sweet food of
holy love, that is, the soul resting in deepest repose with its beloved Spouse
in prayer.”
Now the devil, envious of this high state of the soul at prayer, seeing that he
cannot snatch it from the infinite grasp of the Immense Divinity, attempts,
nevertheless, to disturb it to some degree. He assails it with temptations, or
else with vain imaginings, or with different kinds of thoughts, or again, the
better to deceive it, with his infamous lies. He does all this to distract it
from deep attentiveness to God…
The
Passionist Charism in the Spiritual Diary of
Drawing its spirit from the suffering, sorrowful and merciful love of Christ, it is the special charism of the Passionist Congregation to return and to share in this particular love by their spirit of compassionate mourning for Jesus. Not only are they called to love Christ in His Suffering, but they are called to share in the mission of Christ by promoting the Passion of Jesus and striving by prayer and sacrifice to bring its fruits of grace into the souls of all.
Desires of
During the 40-day retreat of
Four-Fold Spirit
With this call to suffer
with and mourn for Christ in order to bring the graces of Jesus’ Passion to
sinners, the Holy Spirit is inspiring
Poverty
Throughout his 40-day
retreat,
(Excerpts from the
Diary, Monday, November 25th and
Saturday, November 30th)
“I was without sensible feeling at prayer, even distracted…I was filled with
affliction and melancholy—also tempted with compassion toward my family. Seeing
people, hearing them pass by, and the sound of the bells irritated me. In short,
I seemed to have a heart that was buried without any feeling of prayer.
Nevertheless, I had no desire for relief, and in my mind I was content to have
troubles. But this contentment is not felt, for at such a time there is anguish
of a special kind. There is a certain contentment that the most Holy Will of our
dear God is fulfilled.”
“I asked Jesus to make me humble in a supreme degree. I wished to be the
lowest of humankind, the dregs of the earth, and I prayed the Blessed Virgin to
intercede for this grace…the soul that humbles itself beneath hell itself makes
the demon tremble and defeats him, and the Sovereign Good raises that soul to
paradise. I know that everything comes from my God.”
Solitude
The 40-day retreat of
(Excerpt from the
Diary, Tuesday, November 26th)
“I feel my spirit can say no more and simply remains in God with his
sufferings infused in my soul. At other times it seems my heart is shattered… I
was particularly afflicted and melancholy…Although this sadness did not take
away my peace of heart, I felt great affliction since I had no spiritual
consolation or any other. It seemed rather that I never had any… his crosses are
the joy of my heart.”
“I seem to be buried in the depth of misery, to be the most desolate and
wretched of men. Nevertheless, my soul embraces them, for I know this is the
Will of God and that they are the joys of Jesus.”
As the agonizing prayer of
Jesus in the
(Excerpt from
Tuesday, Dec 10th – Friday,
December 13th)
“I was dry, distracted, and tempted. I had to force myself to stay at
prayer…my body wanted some relief, and on that account I wanted to flee from
prayer. By the grace of God, my spirit held out, but the violence of the
assaults kept coming from both the flesh and the devil…I know this kind of
prayer of suffering is a great gift, which God grants the soul to make it a
spotless robe of purity, a rock in the face of suffering, to such a point that
it no longer takes any account of it. When by God’s grace the soul reaches such
a state, the Sovereign Good will inflame it with love. Care must be taken not to
withdraw from prayer at such a trying time because suffering would not be
diminished thereby. On the contrary, without gain to itself the soul would be
the more afflicted because it would see itself slipping into tepidity. However,
I know that God makes me understand that the soul, which God wishes to draw to a
high degree of union with himself by means of prayer, must travel along the road
of suffering in prayer—of suffering, I repeat, without any sensible consolations
so that the soul no longer knows where it is, so to speak, but has the deep
infused knowledge which God gives it, that it is ever in the arms of its Spouse
and is nourished by his infinite charity.”
“…was dry and distracted in prayer…I know my soul remains always rooted in
God and in His peace. But this is hidden and not evident to the senses, though
the will is aware of this. It is the will which is the mouth and entry for the
holy food of divine love. Even though it is fed silently, because of the
hindrance from memory and intellect, which are lost in distractions, the will,
nonetheless, remains attentive to its feeding on the love of God. At most, it
does not relish the situation as much as when the powers of the intellect and
memory are at one with it.”
(Excerpt from
Monday, Dec 23rd)
“Now the devil, envious of this high state of the soul at prayer, seeing
that he cannot snatch it from the infinite grasp of the Immense Divinity,
attempts, nevertheless to disturb it to some degree. He assails it with
temptations, or else with vain imaginings, or with different kinds of thoughts,
or again, the better to deceive it, with his infamous lies. He does all this to
distract it from deep attentiveness to God… In fighting these attacks and
repulsing them, the soul may appear to be at a disadvantage because it loses a
little of its loving attentiveness and seems to be no longer in the embrace of
its beloved Spouse. But God makes me understand that the soul is with him and
that he is pleased to see it thus engaged in battle. This is more profitable for
the soul since, as a result of what it suffers and endures in the struggle, it
is purified like the rock, which before the storm may have been covered with
debris, but after the storm is cleansed because the waves have washed it clean.
A word of warning is necessary here. When these storms of troublesome thoughts
arise, one must remain fixed in God without taking any notice of them. When the
enemy sees that he gains nothing thereby, he is put to shameful flight,
perceiving that by God’s help he is not feared.”
(Excerpt from
Saturday, Dec 21st)
“The spirit, by the grace of God, wishes to subdue the flesh and make it
stay submissive and obedient by uniting it to the understanding [will]. The
flesh, on the other hand, finds this hard to bear. Therefore, when it feels
hungry, it wants to eat; when it is weary from work or kneeling a long time at
prayer, it wants to rest; when it is cold, it wants to be warmed; etc. On this
account, I say, I have been very violently troubled by most of these things on
this particular day. The spirit kept resisting and wanted to remain with God in
prayer, although it felt desolate and afflicted. The flesh, on the other hand,
did not want to. On this account the passions were stirred up with such
intensity…Then the enemy appeared with temptations to impatience… It is true,
that although the soul is in great distress, these dreadful temptations against
God disappear in a flash, and the Sovereign Good does not allow the poor soul to
remain beset by them
Penance
From Chapter IV of the Revised Constitutions of the Passionist Nuns:
"Christ calls all to conversion and penance, inviting them to take up their
cross daily and to follow Him. The Passionist Nuns respond to this urgent call
as they also bear in mind the mystery of Christ’s Passion. They consider it “a
great grace from God to love penance”, so that they may better “fill up what is
lacking in the sufferings of Christ, for the sake of His Body, the Church.
In the communal and individual practice of conversion and penance, the nuns
keep in mind that austerity is not sought for its own sake, but is rather an
expression of their obedient and joyful love for Christ and for His church. The
value of their penance does not depend so much on its rigor as on its open and
peaceful firmness, and the affability and gentleness which permeate it.
For the love of Christ, they generously embrace as their first work of
conversion and penance the difficulties of daily life, together with “the
practice of solid virtue, the imitation of Jesus Christ, the observance of the
Rule, loving to be unknown, having equal love for all, doing God’s Will in
everything”. They spontaneously and joyfully give themselves to the various
kinds of work required in the monastery. They accept patiently any form of
suffering that comes with life itself, such as sickness and advancing age ."
The penance and
mortification practiced by
The spirit that animates
Paul in penances and sufferings is one of
love, generosity in response to God’s invitations, and spiritual joy. We know
that this is what
makes them pleasing and fruitful offerings to God. What is most important is
that Paul accepts and embraces his sufferings as penances chosen for Him by a
wise and loving God. Through faith and docile, trusting, and loving obedience to
God,
Paul’s heart is free and loving in his penances and sufferings. The key to
understanding Paul’s penance and his spirit toward suffering is love. Paul’s
focus during penances and sufferings in the diary is on God and others with an
emphasis on communion with the will of the loving God and compassion.
Love for God
Paul’s penances are clearly
an overflowing gift of self in response to Christ’s sacrificial gift of self.
Paul’s penances are
inspired and embraced out of desire for intimate union
with Christ, who obediently sacrificed himself for the sake of others.
It is the spirit of self-sacrifice that
leads into communion with the holocaust offering of Jesus for the praise and
glory of the Father and for the salvation of souls.
Love for Souls
Throughout his retreat, Paul shows through his writing that he has a fervent
love for souls and desires that all experience the fruit of the Passion of
Jesus, which is salvation. He experiences sorrow considering that souls are
lost. He knows that penance is the way prescribed by God for us to help bring
the fruits of the Passion of Jesus to these souls.
St. Paul of the Cross is joyfully willing (and even desiring) to offer penance
because of His compassionate love for Jesus and souls-- so much so that at some
points during his retreat, penance is sweet.
Notice Paul’s desires experienced in moments of sweetness and also in
moments of trial:
(From Wednesday,
November 27th in the Diary)
Sweetness:“…I
had such great joy and desire of suffering that the cold, the snow, and the ice
all seemed sweet to me, and I desired to experience them with great fervor as I
said to Jesus: “Your pains, my dear God, are the pledges of your love.”
(From Wednesday, Dec
4th)
Sweetness:
“I felt sorrow in seeing
him offended, and I told him that I would willingly be torn to pieces for a
single soul. Indeed, I felt that I would die when I saw the loss of so many
souls who do not experience the fruit of the Passion of my Jesus.”
(From Friday, Dec 6th)
Peace tranquility and
intense love:
“I was especially fervent in praying for sinners and for God to hasten to found
this Congregation in the holy Church. I had a keen infused knowledge of the
sufferings of my Jesus, and I felt so ardent a desire to be perfectly united
with him that I wished to actually feel his sufferings and to be with him on the
cross.”
(From Saturday, Dec
21st)
Trials:
On this account
the passions were stirred up with such intensity…Then
the enemy appeared with temptations…
In the secret depths of
the heart, there is a certain hidden and almost imperceptible
desire to always be immersed in sufferings of one kind or another.
… I know that the glory of God shines forth therein and that the devil is
confounded because in this resistance put up by the soul and in these
sufferings—according to the understanding God gives me—the Sovereign Good is
pleased, and the devil is mocked and put to flight. I know, too, that God holds
the soul in his embrace, although the soul, not realizing this, seems to be
utterly abandoned in its overwhelming misery, and this is all mixed up in some
way with the attacks I have referred to…
“When I
am in this state… I desire it in order to suffer, and I have a
certain fear that it will depart except, of course, those temptations
against God…The fear I mention arises from the soul’s longing
to follow Jesus in suffering. The profit which the soul gains form this
can never be over-estimated; but it does not seek this, for
love seeks not its own advantage, but only the glory of the Sovereign Good…
“Although it is true
that sometimes my soul is troubled for fear of losing its sufferings, I
am never so troubled as to lose peace of heart on this account.
“I would like to make
everyone understand the great grace that God, in his mercy, bestows when
he sends suffering, especially suffering devoid of consolation.”“I
understand that this is a great and fruitful way of suffering, most pleasing to
God, because the soul thereby becomes indifferent to such an extent that
it no longer thinks of sorrow or joy, but solely of remaining conformed to the
Holy Will of its beloved Spouse Jesus.
“It
desires above all else, to be crucified with him, because in this it is more
conformable to its beloved God,
who during his whole life did nothing but suffer.”
Loving Penance as a Path to Freedom and Joy and Peace
We do not simply desire
penance and the pain of the cross for its own sake. If so, what is good about
it? The hidden treasure buried in penance and suffering is discovered by faith.
What is the hidden
treasure?
-Love stronger than death.
-The objective evil of pain and hardship transformed (through this love) into
grace and mercy.
-Unshakeable peace that comes from within (from the Holy Spirit in us).
-Inner freedom despite circumstances not of our choosing, which are objectively
undesirable.
-Patience that is otherwise unattainable.
Much more!
Through his sufferings,
Summary
By living lives of poverty,
solitude, prayer and penance, the Passionists unite themselves to the saving
sacrifice of love offered for all by Christ on
